Sketches, by the author.
People
Where Are The Sikh Women In The Revolution?
RUPI KAUR
"to those who say their sikhi rests on equality and elevation of the community i want to ask you: where is the place for women in your sikhi. who are the women in your sikhi. how do the women in your sikhi exist. is it okay for your sikhi to feel so homogenized it makes the hair on my arms and the hair of my face feel unwanted. who does your sikhi save and what does your sikhi crave. who does your sikhi serve and what does your sikhi share. who does your sikhi confuse and what does your sikhi move. is your sikhi privileged. does it walk in a straight line. or is your sikhi fearless."
In response to the above note I had originally posted on my blog, I received a query from ‘Anonymous’ who asked: “in the poem, or piece you wrote about sikhi, asking where is the place for women in sikhi, I'm sorry if I'm slow, but what are you trying to say. can you elaborate on your thoughts about woman in sikhi.”
Answer [Rupi Kaur]: i would absolutely Love to share my idea on this piece. A sister on tumblr asked me a similar question about the piece and this was my explanation for it:
I want you to know that I am not questioning the role of woman in Sikhi. The role of women in Sikhi as the Gurus intended it is very strong and resilient. In fact Sikhi is one of the few religions that found itself on the equality of all genders. Guru Nanak was preaching and writing about feminism in the 1400s before feminism was known as feminism.
How beautiful is that. How forward.
What I meant by this post was:
It isn’t Sikhi that disrespects women. It isn’t sikhi that oppresses them. It is some of the people that claim to be a part of Sikhi that do. Where Sikhi empowers us women, they actively try to take power away. Sikhism allows us to be warriors while they claim we are weak and incapable of protecting ourselves. Some people claim to be Sikh but you evaluate their actions, and their actions are very anti-Sikh
Examples:
- SGPC President claiming the Sikh Religion “does not permit us to wear jeans”
- “Sikh” men who beat their wives
- “Sikh” women who push such abuse by men against women
- “Sikh” uncles who think “no” means “yes”
- “Sikh” leaders who publicly blame rape on the victim
- Any gender actively participating in the oppression of sikh women within the community.
This is our reality. This is happening. This is the current situation for too many sikh women. Sikhs back home in Punjab and diasporic Sikhs. So how are we counteracting this? How are those, who claim to stand for the equality of genders supporting minority genders?
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor” – Desmond Tutu
That is what I meant by my post. If our Sikh brothers do not stand beside their sisters in issues of injustice, then they have chosen to support the oppressors. We need them to fight with us, as the Gurus would have done. As a community it is so desperately important to empower our women. Humanity hinges on women. The survival of our community hinges on Sikh women. We must nurture them in positive and uplifting manners.
And it isn’t just abuse and violence we endure. Let’s move this issue to something less serious but just as important:
Over the past few years our brothers have been battling with so much negativity from the western world. And now, finally we are in the age where their image is started to be accepted. I am so very happy for our brothers. For the platform they are receiving. Turbaned Sikhs in Vogue, GQ, and the likes. In movies, and so much more. The “Turban” is “Trendy”. Sikh men are walking down runways. Sikh men are on youtube. Sikh men are rappers. Sikh men are on the big stage. Sikh men are being welcomed into mainstream. People are beginning to understand Sikh men. The beauty of this situation is unparalleled. And as a daughter and a sister, I am so happy for Sikh men.
I can’t begin to explain how much they needed this. From Gap to Axe, you go, my brothers. You are an inspiration to my own baby brother who is bullied everyday for the Dastar he adorns on his head.
But where are Sikh women in this revolution? Sikh men are on the stage. There are some women there. Very few. I know tons that want to get on, but could use some help cause they have been taught to not believe in themselves and be the backdrop all their lives. Where are the Sikh women in Dastars on the runways? Where are they, in their beautiful braids with their majestic noses?
Not only are we still fighting for a place in the mainstream, we are fighting for a place within our own communities. This oppression from our own community takes away from the confidence and esteem we need to put more Sikh women on the map.
For every Sikh male rapper, I want to see a Sikh female rapper. When a brother brings home good news about being in a magazine spread, I want a sister to come home and say, “Look dad! That’s me.” Regardless of whether her hair is long, flowing hair, wrapped, let loose, or braided.
It is up to us as a community to work together and make this happen. If we encourage, nurture, and empower Sikh women, we create opportunities for them to thrive. We must nurture from the inside out. We must work to make sure we are following what we preach.
The fact is Sikh men ARE privileged in this community. They must understand this privilege. Then, they must understand that there is a difference in believing equality and practicing equality. It is after we are uplifted in our own communities, can we be uplifted in the mainstream. Privileged Sikh brothers must help their sisters reach the same level of elevation. IF they do not do so, they are simply to put it: choosing the side of the oppressor.
Those individuals that preach how Sikhism rests on equality MUST SHOW it themselves.
It is one thing to say you believe in equality, and another to practice it.
Rupi Kaur is a spoken word poet based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She is the author of "milk and honey", a collection of her poems and drawings.
[Courtesy: RupiKaur.com. Edited for sikhchic.com]
May 7, 2015
Conversation about this article
1: R Singh (Canada), May 08, 2015, 7:40 AM.
There are good Sikh women out there aplenty. And they are not ignored by the men alone but also by the definition that has now an ironclad hold of the psyche of some Sikhs today. By overlapping the Khalsa with 'Sikh', not only is the bureau of Sikhi being weeded out, it is being uprooted. Think again when an entire philosophy of freedom is presented as a rejection of the vast numbers of its grassroots nurturers.
2: Gurnam Singh Jhota (Calgary, Alberta, Canada), May 08, 2015, 9:47 AM.
There are segments in our community worldwide - as in every other community - where indeed men (and, sadly, some women too) behave poorly towards women. It is heartbreaking for us in particular to see this happening amongst us because we have the unique gift of being handed a system of values and beliefs which have made it unequivocally unambiguous that men have no greater status than women. I sympathize with Rupi Kaur's courageous cry from the heart. Instead of a knee-jerk reaction, we need to stand back, then sit down calmly, and spend some quiet time thinking about what she has said. And then, act on correcting ourselves if we find that we harbour any of the negativity within ourselves. Thank you, Rupi ji, for your insightful and loving response to "anonymous".
3: Harsaran Singh (Indonesia), May 08, 2015, 11:43 AM.
While Rupi Kaur herself admits that Sikhi is based on gender equality, I am not sure where or how we as a community have let down our women. From Bebe Nanaki to Bibi Bhani to Mai Bhago and Mata Jito ji, women have always been a source of inspiration and leadership in our history. In the present times we have had Sikh women reach the corridors of power through their sheer dedication and hard work. Yes, our so-called religious custodians may have objections on Sikh women wearing jeans but they will not object when their kith and kin are provided with green cards to US and Canada by their benefactors nor will they have any problem when funds sent from across the globe for religious & social purposes end up in their pockets. It will be too naive to give credence to the utterances of such people who are utterly selfish & motivated. Otherwise where else in the world will you see a minister stating on national television that the molestation and death of a teenager in Moga was the "will of God". But I do admit that like in other communities and religions we have not been able to give the proper place or rather digest that women can be better than men in almost every walk of life. Domestic violence, harassment in public places or giving space to women in choosing their personal preferences is a global social evil which needs a collective approach to sensitize society. Once again, it has to be an initiative by farsighted and progressive thinking women of our community like Rupi ji to come forward and take the lead.
4: Rup Singh (Canada), May 08, 2015, 3:30 PM.
My personal belief is that most problems in Sikh households occur because we live by cultural and family values rather than by the teachings of gurmat. Also, I think women have to empower each other, stop the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law conflict and between sister-in-laws. If the women of a family unite, perhaps that might stop female foeticide in India and other places. Parents too have to teach their children to respect all as equals and declare that abuse of any kind against anyone is wrong. They need to lead by example, deeds over words. Some in our community, especially back in the villages, have come down to the point where a brother won't speak to a brother, will even kill his brother over a piece of land. Where children don't speak with their parents. We need to work towards the just and equal society formulated by our Gurus -- not an unachievable goal if we set our minds to it!