Roundtable
Cast The First Stone:
The Roundtable Open Forum # 36, July 7 - 13
EDITOR
The Rules of the forum are posted here on the right, and need to be followed strictly by all participants.
The following is this week's (July 7 - 13) topic for discussion, which should focus on the questions posed therein:
CAST THE FIRST STONE
Recent articles posted on sikhchic.com have once again elicited complaints over why we report on persons who may have been born Sikh or call themselves Sikh or sport Sikh names - but do not necessarily conform to one or more of the requirements laid out in the Rehat Maryada.
Here is but a sampling of the objections raised by readers, who then insist that the person in question is ‘not a Sikh‘, or is not worthy of being reported or discussed in the pages of sikhchic.com:
- She cuts her hair.
- He drinks alcohol.
- Her career choice is not consistent with Sikh values.
- He is a vegetarian.
- She is a non-vegetarian.
- His children are married outside the Faith.
- She is married to a non-Sikh.
- He claims to be amritdhari, but his Sikh wife cuts her hair.
- She declares herself amritdhari, but her Sikh husband does not observe the rehat.
- His children do not observe the rehat.
- She delves in yogic practices.
- He/she uses a caste name, instead of Singh/Kaur.
- He belongs to the Congress party which was behind 1984.
- She belongs to the Akali Dal.
- They follow a baba and are affiliated to a dera.
- She was a supporter of Indira Gandhi.
- He ties his beard, instead of leaving it flowing.
- She wears ‘western' clothes.
- He wears the outdated nihang bana in this day and age.
- She has idols of hindu gods and goddesses in her home.
- He supported the Indian govt. re its crimes in1984.
- She observes hindu rituals like ‘karva chauth'.
- He is a Khalistani.
- She opposes Khalistan.
- He abuses his spouse.
- He is a fanatic.
- She has no interest in Sikhi.
It is true: we've been asked to ostracize people belonging to each of these categories.
Here lies the problem: if we're indeed to give in to these demands, there'd be no one left to report about. And who will do the reporting, because those of us who work at sikhchic.com are far from perfect Sikhs? - we‘d be the first to fall!
On the other hand, if we select some transgressions as ‘serious' and others as ‘not so serious', we could certainly hobble along. But then, which ones are serious? And who decides?
How would you rate the following, for example?
- An amritdhari drinking alcohol.
- A person blatantly ignoring the Gurus' injunction against caste practices?
- ‘Moorakhs' - to use the Guru's own terminology - who argue over eating or not eating meat?
You see our difficulty, don't you?
So, please tell us - who do YOU think should be written about - or not - in these pages! What should be the criteria applied for inclusion or exclusion?
Finally, a caveat.
Courts of law require litigants to come before the judges "with clean hands", if they are seeking relief. That is, the court will grant relief to only those litigants who themselves have not been wrong-doers.
Jesus said it in his own inimitable way: "He who is without sin, cast the first stone."
Do either of these dictums apply here, or should we just proceed with what some readers say, without questioning any bona fides?
We at sikhchic.com genuinely need your guidance on this. Please give us your honest input.
Conversation about this article
1: Jodh Singh (New Delhi, India), July 07, 2010, 8:22 AM.
I am content with sikhchic.com celebrating Sikhs, with warts and all. At a time when extreme dangers lurk all around us, this is not the time to be dividing ourselves. I like the way sikhchic.com stays on the straight and narrow path of Sikhi while celebrating all who are part of the community, in its mainstream or on the periphery.
2: Kartar Singh Bhalla (New Delhi, India), July 07, 2010, 9:06 AM.
Every one who believes in Guru Granth Sahib and in the Sikh Gurus deserves to be recognized as Sikh and deserves to be written about.
3: K. Singh (Massachusetts, U.S.A.), July 07, 2010, 9:18 AM.
In my humble opinion, you are doing your best! Good job, Sikhchic.com staff and volunteers - thank you for your seva. No matter what you do, there will be critics! If you do not have an article about one person but you do about another, that is discrimination; if you include everyone, you will have people from both sides of the spectrum criticising you. It is best to talk about everyone, and people can filter out what they disagree with. I have learned a lot about the Sikh panth by the various articles written about all those who describe themselves as Sikhs. It is important for us, your readers, and you, the volunteers, to take a step back and look at ourselves as Sikhs: are we following the Guru's Word, path, maryada as laid out in the Guru Granth Sahib, Rehat Maryada, and other documents? We do not need to criticize others, that is between them and the Guru. We need to judge our own actions, our principles, our thoughts. Yes, being an amritdhari who drinks alcohol is bad, but are there actions we do that are equivalently as bad and forbidden in Sikhi? The one thing that sikhchic.com can do though is not honor and give "awards" to those who do not follow the Sikh path. Writing articles about them is one thing, but honoring them is another.
4: Sunny (London, England), July 07, 2010, 9:31 AM.
If we take the 'listed criteria' to exclude people from declaring their Sikhi, then almost instantly we've shrunk Sikhs into a negligible number. Although some of the articles might not cover perfect role model types, let us not be too specific or arrogant about who is or is not a Sikh. As far as I'm concerned, sikhchic.com is doing a great job. United we stand, divided we fall!
5: Jaimal Singh (Brisbane, Australia), July 07, 2010, 9:45 AM.
If we apply the same criteria some misguided readers want to apply here to the other faiths, there'll be no one identified as a true Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist .... Maybe that's the answer! Let's all revert to Guru Nanak's wonderful message: "There is no Hindu, There is no Mussalman ... [There is no Christian, There is no Jew ...]" In the meantime, keep on truckin', sikhchic.com!
6: Kiran Kaur (Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh, India), July 07, 2010, 10:00 AM.
For me, an amritdhari consuming alcohol is far worse than an average Sikh cutting his/her hair. Let me explain: the amritdhari has reached that stage (hopefully) after reaching a high level of discipline, and then has taken vows to live such a life of full discipline in the service of humanity. His/her then taking alcohol is akin to a betrayal - not unlike a Christian priest committing a sexual crime or a police-officer breaking the law. The analogy is not perfect, but it at least stands for the point I am making. Similarly, any Sikh practicing any level of casteism has no right to be pointing fingers at another. Same goes with those fighting over meat-eating! Good examples - they highlight the pitfalls of passing judgment on others.
7: Zorawar Singh (Richmond Hill, New York, U.S.A.), July 07, 2010, 12:35 PM.
All I can say is that I have seen numerous manmukhs become gurmukhs and vice versa. It all comes down to what type of sangat (company) we associate with. The day a person finds the power of Naam, then he/she will end up following the Guru's path. Today we proudly call ourselves Sikhs because of numerous Sikhs who sacrificed their lives for Sikhi; we should remember that because today we seem to take it for granted for being a Sikh. During the Mughal rule, there was a price on the head of a Sikh and Sikhs during those times accepted death rather than sacrifice their Sikhi at any cost.
8: Harpreet (Texas, U.S.A.), July 07, 2010, 2:02 PM.
Anyone who does not believe - in JUST AND ONLY JUST the ten Gurus and Guru Granth Sahib - should not be considered a Sikh. If he/she believes in the Guru Granth Sahib and also the Gita, then technically you should WRITE IT ON YOUR HEADING as HALF SIKH and HALF HINDU if you wish to report on him/her to avoid others falling in the same line of beliefs. You and your reporting sets a precedent, openly and subconsciously, which does nothing in strengthening of either religion. Though I am not a keshdhari Sikh, I've not done paatth for more than a year. I do go to the gurdwara whenever I get a chance - but still in my heart and soul I believe what I wrote above. Rest is on everyone to decide what they want to be like. Lastly, I must say that everyone among us might have experienced and seen how one or more of our family members got dissolved slowly into being a Hindu and then eventually marrying (except love marriage) into Hindu families. Did you ever see Hindus marrying their daughters in Sikh family? I am not spreading hatred, but only trying to lay a strong principle if you believe you are a Sikh. As Sant Bhindranwale said - "If you are Hindu then be a complete Hindu, if you are Muslim then be a complete Muslim, and if you are SIKH, THEN BE A COMPLETE SIKH!"
9: K. Singh (Massachusetts, U.S.A.), July 07, 2010, 2:05 PM.
I think Zorawar Singh has definitely hit the nail on the head. The Guru's emphasized the importance of sangat, for this reason alone it is the sangat that helps you reach your goal. If you want to play tennis, spending time with those who like golf will not help you. But those golf players will eventually influence you to like golf, just because their presence will encourage you to do so.
10: Vikrant Singh (Wollongong, Australia), July 07, 2010, 3:27 PM.
As a far from perfect Sikh who grew up in a nominally Sikh but far from practicing household, I greatly enjoy reading articles on sikhchic.com about all types of Sikhs and I don't think alienating people is a philosophy Sikh cyber-leadership should espouse. We need more things (such as these websites) that bring us together rather than driving an already fractured community further apart. Just my two cents. P.S. - This website has been a beacon for intelligent Sikh discussion since its inception, a big thank you to everyone involved.
11: N. Singh (Canada), July 07, 2010, 4:17 PM.
I have no objections to having Sikhs of all types portrayed on this website. We are One Panth! However, I do have reservations with the lauding of those people who have clearly supported political parties that have participated in the worst massacre of the Sikhs in modern times. I believe it is the moral and ethical responsibility of educated and privileged Sikhs everywhere to provide a balanced view of these people and not shy away from pointing out where they have failed with regards to moral and ethical standards which are accepted world-wide ... with the exception of India. With a large percentage of the Indian population (including Sikhs) lacking a basic education, I believe it is reprehensible to provide a distorted view and mislead people into believing that these people are model figures to be idolized or not held accountable for their misdeeds!
12: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), July 07, 2010, 8:06 PM.
Every saint has a past and every sinner a future. When the time is ripe and you are ready, the unmanifest become manifest and visible. Let me share a true story. I had a house that was rented out to a Japanese executive. His personal driver was one Gurdev Singh who, despite his nominal turban and heavily trimmed beard, also smoked and drank heavily. He was very proud of his Japanese boss that he would at times invite him to sit and drink with him. Once in a while Gurdev would call on me for some minor repairs to the house. One day I asked him: "Gurdev, what do you do when you are not driving?" He as totally honest and said without hesitation: "I sit and just smoke ruku" (Malay word for smoke). "Why don't you do something else for a change?" I asked, "just start repeating Waheguru, Waheguru." His reply totally bowled me over and said in his rustic Punjabi: "Lo, uncle ji, hunay shuruu kar dandai haa(n)." - 'I will start right away.' I didn't see Gurdev for a while and one day I ran into him and he urgently said to me: "Uncle - eh mennu ke wahkht pa ditta-ey, hun Waheguru maera picha nahai chad-da." - 'What trouble you have wrought on me, now Waheguru doesn't leave me alone!' I noticed that he had stopped drinking and smoking and his beard had started populating. In the meantime, his Japanese boss had shifted elsewhere near his office and I lost contact with Gurdev. Some two years later, I was sitting in Petaling Jaya Gurdwara and I saw a young man with jet black flowing beard at least 18 inches long, folding his hands and trying to attract my attention. I didn't recognise him but soon after the bhog, he came running and touched my feet and said: "Uncle, mein Gurdev waa(n)" - 'Uncle, I am Gurdev!' He said Waheguru had brought about a complete change. His salary had now doubled and the boss had even printed a new visiting card for him showing him as an executive of the company. He was now entrusted with all important things including handling a large amount of cash, etc. "Ih bidh sun kay jatro uth bhagti laga" [GGS:488.1] - 'Hearing this, Dhanna the jutt applied himself to devotional worship.' I tried to touch his feet to also ask for that kinka but he held me tightly in his embrace. I just manged to say tearfully: "I only talked but you have done it!" That is 'Gurparsad'!
13: Bal Singh (London, United Kingdom), July 07, 2010, 8:08 PM.
Sure, to err is human, and we do - sometimes spectacularly. But at the very least, sikhchic.com, please don't portray those who have openly declared their conversion to another faith as if they are within the Sikh sphere. It is plain false. People leaving the faith is not something we should celebrate for obvious reasons. Nikki Haley is a blatant example of someone of this type.
14: Balbir Singh (Germany), July 08, 2010, 8:43 AM.
Start casting a Sikh within. The stone will fall down itself. A Sikh is in the learning, not a mask on the decorated body. Sikhi is also not inherited. Everyone has to begin with receiving the true Naam. Sikhi is lost when the wisdom of true Naam is lost. All that is left then is a worldly religion.
15: R. Singh (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), July 08, 2010, 1:32 PM.
Sikhchic.com is about Sikhs in relation to the wider world. We cannot keep narrowing our vision. Please keep us connected to issues, friends, news and views. There are plenty with regressive mindsets addressing only those who fit their bill. Sikhchic.com should retain itself as an instrument of progressive thinking, and reaching the wider community as it is currently doing.
16: Harpreet (Texas, U.S.A.), July 08, 2010, 4:33 PM.
R. Singh ji: You said it all. Those who don't give a damn about the rights and wrongs of a certain situation or issue, have somehow become progressives?
17: S.S.N. (Georgia, U.S.A.), July 09, 2010, 12:02 AM.
S. Sangat Singh ji: Please keep on sharing your valuable anecdotes, they are riveting and bring meaning to every discussion! You are a gem and a great story teller!
18: Jugraj Singh Kahai (Gurgaon, India), July 09, 2010, 3:24 AM.
I am a 77-yr old retired army officer of the Indian Army. I have never trimmed my beard or cut my hair. And I believe in the teachings of the Gurus. But I totally disagree with some of the comments. I am not a scholar of Guru Granth Sahib. But to my limited understanding, the great point in our religion is that here is only one Oankar, and that Ram and Rahim all lead to him. That is a tenet we have to understand and absorb. Secondly, the stress in on clean, holy living and worshiping His name. It is not on how you dress, who are your friends. In fact, it is expected that in good company even the so called evil ones will be reformed. All these restrictions have been laid down by small people, trying to gain importance, while ignoring the basic tenets of our religion. Can we say that Guru Nanak was not a true Sikh because his constant companion was a Muslim? If not, how can we castigate those who are friendly with, or marry people of other religions. So long as we believe there is only one Oankar, religious divide does not come in. These are the views of a simple and honest man.
19: R. Singh (Canada), July 09, 2010, 10:32 AM.
Harpreet ji, We are neither judge nor jury, we are the sangat in need of a voice that connects. The sikhchic.com format fits the bill. How long are we going to play the game of 'stone the other', when we oursevles are ignoring the essence of Sikh religion which is about self evaluation and connection? "Dhaul dharam daya ka poot ...!" Progress is connected to the term "progressive", and progress today is in learning to navigate the world, by reaching out, not by staying within walls that are killing our motivation, and alienating fellow Sikhs. Our efforts are better spent on learning about our new world than obstructing it, keeping compassion as our basis for progress.
20: K.D.S. (India), July 09, 2010, 4:35 PM.
I have been reading articles on sikhchic.com for a few years and I have to say that many of those who write have double standards - one for girls/ women, another for boys/men. The majority of the articles I see on the site showcase achievements of boys/men are about those who are turbaned and who have not cut their hair. But on the other hand, when they publish an article on Sikh girls, they don't care whether she has uncut her hair or not. The recent article on the model Harleen Kaur is one example of this. I would like to ask the editors of sikhchic.com whether they will publish an article of a Sikh boy who cuts his hair to become a model or an actor in Bollywood? [Editor: You may want to check out some of the 15,000+ pages currently on our site to get the answer to your question. In the meantime, here are a couple of links you may wish to check out right away: http://www.sikhchic.com/sports/andrew_singh_kooner_scrapper_into_boxer http://www.sikhchic.com/people/sikhamerican_u_s_federal_attorney_to_prosecute_times_square_bomber ]
21: Taran (London, United Kingdom), July 12, 2010, 1:37 PM.
Instead of trying to understand what the Gurus said, we are trying to force ourselves as gurus of today's date. The Sikh Religion has doors open to anyone, everyone. Since my birth till now, all I have seen is so called panthic thekedaars setting their own rules.
22: Sanmeet Kaur (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), July 14, 2010, 8:01 AM.
Anyone who claims that his/her only and living Guru is Guru Granth Sahib is a Sikh. What kind of Sikh? That is between him and his Guru. As is Guru Granth for a Sikh, there is Guru Panth. So I am loyal to His sangat. My prejudices are overruled by His acceptance. From other Sikhs, I expect, even demand, the same loyalty as a fellow-Sikh. I will not, and object to 'owning' people that have Sikh names or lineage after they have converted and claim to be of another religion/ belief system. I consider it a personal insult to both them and myself that they should be espoused as Sikh heroes by one or many.
23: Darshan Kaur (India), July 20, 2010, 3:39 AM.
It seems that the nine Gurus before Guru Gobind Singh were not Sikhs as so called Sikhism was created by the Tenth Guru! Sikhism is a way of life, a beautiful and most modern way of life where the Gurus took on the caste system, the bias against women, the superstitions and the rituals! Yet, many so-called Sikhs practice all of these. But, who are we to judge whether a person is a Sikh or not. Sikh means shishya or disciple and whoever follows the doctrines of Sikhism is a Sikh! Let us first be good human beings and remain good human beings and leave other decisions on HIM! Remember, whenever we point a finger at others, the rest of the fingers point towards us!