Poetry

The Love Knot

by S.J. KAUR

 

 

You have bound and bonded me in a series of love knots.

Intricate, intimate, countless layers of knots.

I was born, my neck knotted in seven coils of my mother's cord. Forever I am fastened to my parents: their words, deeds, to their names and one, which they instilled in me - Kaur.

My father once told me the basis of relationships lie in their ability to change. And therein lay their strength and beauty.

"When I lie in your lap, you are my mother," he said, "When I take you to the movies, you're my girl, not Mom, and when you need your old man because you're in trouble with Mom, I'm your Papa again."

Then You tied me; and continue to tie and retie me with Your melody.

I am forever Yours, enslaved, ensnared by Your sublime, Divinity.

To retain the love of Your kirtan, I did not, would not, will not remove my crown, my hair, nor sip wine.

For I am stirred ... I drown.

I lose myself in Your uplifting Word.

Double knots fasten a strand of love to a wrist. Two strands for two wrists, double knots for each. And I exact a promise of love
and support. The rite of rukhrri, every year this deal sealed with laughter, rus-gullay, chocolate cake and karah parshad.

One more strand.

The first and foremost rukhrri for You: "...You are my ally, You, my brother..."

As I tie a rukhrri on the Palki Sahib, I am reminded of it.

I call upon You before anyone else. "You are my Protector, my aide ... You are the End, in both my happiness and sorrow."

Sometimes I knot my hair in a bun. Tie a string through the teeth of a kanga, knot it. Secure the kanga in my bun.

Once more tied, fastened, secured ...

Locked in Love.

I may be inconsistent, withholding, hesitant, and even reluctant but You are constant.

The wobbly ends of my knot lay secure in Your bind; in Your bidding I am ceaselessly secured.

Double knots on a white sheet secure pots of kurrhie and my mother's favorite tandoori style rotis. More than half the day has gone in preparing this part of the langar.

Other members of the sangat will get the rest.

I live in gratitude for the right to seva, the company of sangat.

Double knots - seva and sangat - unite me with You.

"The pink scarf rolled twice in my hand, twice in my soon to-be husband's. It is secure."

We are tied to Your strings as one:

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies."

Once more You blessed me.

Fastened a life to my womb.

I am now duty-bound.

I am indebted to her for her tiny hands and her tight hugs. For bringing new light, renewed life, a new name and renewed faith.
As I teach her to secure her knots mine will become stronger. 

Solidly fastened by faith.

Intricate, intimate, countless layers of knots ...

Some shackles, some saviors.

Release me from innumerable knots of thoughts - tiring; draining; waiting to be undone ... Words strung together -
sentences. Sentences, stories, conversations; release the knot in my stomach ... Family ties - friends, associates, strangers, loving, demanding, seeking, running.

These countless, tireless, ceaseless knots - make them naught, my Lord.

Save those that bind me to You: "The Lord of the World is the Mender of the broken. He Himself cherishes all beings."
 

 

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