Humour
Wisdom Comes With Age
Two Jokes Contributed by SANGAT SINGH
I
A Nihang Singh never retires.
Santa Singh was 75 years old and loved to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up!'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up!'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
Santa Singh asked: "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"
Santa Singh looked at the frog for a short time, then reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.
The frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said, kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
Santa Singh opened his pocket, looked at the frog and sighed:
"Na-a-h! At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog!"
II
This was in the early 1950's.
We had a carpenter by the name of Bhai Mehtab Singh who looked every inch a Santa Claus. He had a white flowing beard and a ruddy face, and the necessary bulk and a healthy loud laugh to go with it. He wore white working clothes but looked
majestic in his simple apparel. He had a bewitching smile and a tremendous sense of humour to go with it.
He was never short of customers. They dropped in regularly either for his carpentry or just for the sake of his good company. He was my friend and I usually stopped on the way to college with the usual greeting of ‘Sat Sri Akal ji - Sunnaa-o, Baba ji, faujaa(n) da kee haal hai?'" - How are the troops today?
One day he was visiting us for some minor repair job and while we offered him the customary tall glass of ‘lassi' and some ‘missi rotis', a small child from the neighbourhood came by and plunked himself in his lap. He was engrossed by Baba ji's face, as the latter was talking.
"Baba ji, Baba ji! - tusee boldey kitho(n) ho?" - Where do you speak from? - the child finally asked him.
Baba ji's mouth was almost covered by his drooping moustache and flowing beard; they hid the movement of his lips as he talked. To oblige the child, he quickly brushed back his mustache and beard to show where the words emerged from!
That little boy today is a well known cinematographer in Bollywood, famed for his imaginative observation skills!
In those days, it was common to include a ‘charkha' (spinning wheel) in a mariage dowry. (It was later replaced with a sewing machine.) I happened to be sitting at Baba ji's tiny workshop one day when a villager came along and asked for a charkha.
"What is the price, Baba ji?"
"Seventeen Rupees!"
"Oh! For that much, one can buy a ‘Jhhota' (bull), for heaven's sake!"
"Good! Then go get your daughter a jhhota!", was Baba ji's quick reply.
September 24, 2010