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Mata Ji:
Janam da Firangee,
Sikhi Main Mangee

FATEHPAL SINGH TARNEY

 

 

 

My mother passed away at the age of 98. 

At 94, she could no longer live on her own in New York City so she came to South Florida to live with me and my wife. 

We do not believe in nursing homes. My mother was a devout Roman Catholic.  Therefore, I told her that I would make arrangements for her to be taken to and from the church of her choice every Sunday. 

She told me that she thought all three of us should worship together so she wanted to go to the Gurdwara Sahib. I had already explained some things about Sikhism to her. 

On our first trip to a Sunday Divan with Mata ji, I told her about the Langar. When we pulled into Gurdwara parking lot, she turned to me and said, “When do we eat?”

So, for the last four years of her life, Mata ji worshipped at our gurdwara.  She said her prayers in English and Italian as she was born and raised in Italy. She loved kirtan and sat on a bench close enough to a projector to see the English translations of the shabads.

We often forget that music is an international language. A person can meditate or pray in the language of their choice and still connect to God through our kirtan. People of our sadh sangat who knew my mother and even people who didn’t know her, would greet her and touch her feet.

One of the most beautiful things about Sikhism is that we welcome everyone to our places of worship, and that they are under no obligation to worship or believe exactly as we do. Ik-Oankar.

Mata ji had trouble keeping the chunni (scarf) on her head even though women would always try to help her and place it back on top of her head. I would often gesture to her from my side of the Divan Hall that her chunni had fallen off her head. I decided to learn how to tie a Muslim hijab by going online and I purchased several for her as well. The hijab was more secure for her. 

One Sardar came to me and asked, “Fateh ji, ki aap ji di Mata ji mussalmanani han?”

His question was prompted by pure curiosity, not by what she was doing at the gurdwara.  I replied, “Nahin ji, meri Mata ji isaai hai.”

Mata ji knew about six words in Punjabi:  Waheguru, Mata ji, Beta, ladoo, gulab jamun -- her two favorite desserts -- and the word ‘Gurdwara‘. 

It was only shortly before her passing that I realized that she thought when people said “gurdwara” they were saying “Good Water.” 

A very wise Sardar friend of mine said to me that Mata ji was far from wrong - that ‘Achchha Paani’ was as good a translation of ‘Gurdwara’ as anything else.


December 1, 2014
 

Conversation about this article

1: Harjinder Singh (Kalala, Barnala, Punjab.), December 01, 2014, 6:45 AM.

Fatehpal Singh Tarney ji, You are blessed indeed. "Maavan thandiaan chhaavan" - 'Mothers are like the shade of trees, protecting and sheltering, always.'

2: Jaswinder Kaur Mann (Germany), December 01, 2014, 11:32 AM.

Fatehpal Singh ji, your article brought a smile on my face. Please keep narrating such stories from your life. I particularly love the title of your column, 'Janam da Firangee, Sikhi main Mangee.' Your mother was a wonderful person who believed in praying to the One God of all.

3: Gurinder Singh (Stockton, California, U.S.A.), December 02, 2014, 3:57 AM.

Your mother was a blessed person who lived a full life to the very end. May God bless her soul.

4: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), December 02, 2014, 6:01 PM.

"As you grow old, family and friends are there to feed you as you rest ..." Fatehpal Singh ji, how lucky you have been to serve your Mata ji. There is no substitute for a mother. While growing up, whatever are your transgressions, she forgives you with a huge helping of empathy and compassion and shares all her gifts. It was Rudyard Kipling who said of mothers" "God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers." Someone made a half-rate call to God and asked, "God, why do mothers cry so easily?" God replied: "You see, son, when I made mothers, they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong." Here is a real story to share: A mother once got into the White House and woke Lincoln up at five in the morning, saying that her son had been sent by train to Washington a few days before, had no sleep and now was going to be shot at eight that morning. If Lincoln had been in the red (younger), he might have shouted to the guards, "Who let this woman in here? Get her out of here!" If he were in the white (young adult), he might have said, "Madam, we all have to obey rules. Your son didn't obey the rules, and I feel as bad as you do about it, but I can't intervene." He didn't say either of these things (he was in the black stage of wisdom). He said, "Well, I guess shooting him wouldn't help him much," and he signed the required piece of paper.

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Janam da Firangee,
Sikhi Main Mangee"









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