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School of Learning

by GURUMUSTUK SINGH KHALSA

 

The other day, Baba Iqbal Singh of the Kalgidhar Society, Baru Sahib (India), visited us here in Espanola, New Mexico (U.S.A.), along with four young female students and a few other associates who tour with him.

To this point, I had heard the names "Baru Sahib" and "Akal Academy", but knew very little about the organization and what their schools were like.

Before Baba Iqbal Singh arrived, I was talking with someone else in the room who was telling me about the school and how boys and girls dressed exactly the same (not being able to tell if the person is a girl or boy). I also heard that there were no mirrors in the whole school (I think to prevent vanity/ego/self consciousness). I wondered how they tied their own turbans.

Then later on, Babaji told us about the school and how the senior children start their morning at 12:30 am and finished their amritvela sadhana at 4:30 am! He went on to describe how the children were very well behaved and obedient and that many of the graduates of the school have achieved a lot in life.

He painted a picture that appeared too good to be true, almost as if it was a sales pitch of all the positive things. I couldn't imagine kids this way. In my mind, I started wondering if the kids were happy there, or if they felt repressed or forced by their parents to become the "perfect" Sikh. (Keep in mind, these thoughts were not based on any real experience; only on a few things I had heard about the school and from talking with two students for a few minutes).

I remember going to boarding school in India and being punished harshly if I was late for gurdwara or didn't wake up for morning sadhana. It wasn't a positive experience for me and many others. (Though, I turned out okay, didn't I?) Maybe this was why I was thinking about the school in this way.

In relation to the school program, it was interesting to see the thoughts that came into my head. I started to think critically about some of the things and how extreme/strict the school sounded in some areas. I thought about how a school like this probably wouldn't be possible in Western countries, because of the cultural differences and less obedience.

I remember when I went to boarding school in India (1983-1993), all of us "Western" kids were the biggest troublemakers. Most of the local kids did as they were told, but it was the opposite with us. Being raised in America was a huge cultural difference. It was natural for us to question authority, and "stand up for our rights". This created a very different atmosphere for the teachers and the school to deal with. 

Anyway, my point of bringing this up is not to poke at Akal Academy or look for fault. During the course of  the day, I started evaluating why I was thinking certain things and soon realized that this was exactly how other people react to "3HO" or the so-called "American Sikhs"/yoga/Yogi Bhajan.

It normally starts with someone knowing little (or nothing) about us, and then hearing some tidbit of information from someone, and then a critical judgment follows. I think another factor is that when someone appears to be doing something good (especially in the religious world), people are often critical of them (especially if they are doing something more disciplined then themselves).

I was surprised to watch my thoughts being critical without any real reason or much interaction with these people. The main issue was that I perceived them as doing something different than my experience as the "correct way".

To me this is the crux of all the criticizing and judging (especially in the Sikh communities!). Everyone has his/her own understanding and opinion about how something should be done and what is right and wrong. Many of us are raised and taught differently. I consider myself very open-minded, so I was a bit surprised by my initial feelings and wanted to delve deeper into what was triggering these thoughts. The positive thing is that I was conscious of this and felt like I was watching my thoughts on television, and able to evaluate why I felt this way.

Lunch with Baba Iqbal Singh and guests was a very formal meeting, and during lunch, many of us talked about our background, and people from the different local Sikh companies and organizations shared information about what they do.

The evening was the real opening for me as we had a cozy get-together with the guests and sangat at someone's house.

We started with some kirtan celebrating Guru Gobind Singh's birthday and then, when the guests arrived, the Akal Academy Girls' Jatha played some beautiful kirtan. It was inspiring to see them playing together with the same type of stringed instruments that were used by some of the Gurus and Bhai Mardana. Their voices were so strong and powerful as they sang four different shabads.

Charanjeet and I were sitting right up front and her eyes were fixed on them, as she had never heard anything like this. Baba Iqbal Singh ended each shabad summarizing the meaning. Before we had dinner, Avtar Hari Singh gave a nice slide show presentation about the Kalgidhar Society. It gave us an overview of all the different work that this organization does, its goals, as well as the impact on the students of the schools that are now prevalent in Punjab.

After getting to know them better and processing why I was thinking this way, I was able to see them for who they are (without clouds of doubt and judgment). It was impressive to see the extent of work that they do in India. I am thankful that they took the time to come and visit us so we could learn about this organization and form bonds of unity.

Next time I go to India, I would like to visit one of the schools to experience it for myself.

My point of writing all this is to share how easy it is to quickly criticize and judge people who you know little about, or just because they do something different than you. In our community, there are instances of intolerance for people that do things differently. People judge those who cut their hair, don't do this...or that....or do something "wrong", in their opinion.

I've always thought of Sikhi being more of a lifestyle and way of life, than a religion. You can follow the path that the Gurus laid out and you'll reach a certain promised goal. I think of the Sikh lifestyle as a set of tools which guide you quickly along on your spiritual journey.

However, this is less the case these days. Instead, the Sikh lifestyle is being practiced more like an intellectual thing and book of rules and regulations that everyone feels compelled to enforce, based on their opinion, as if they are the "Sikh Police".

What happened to the sweetness that Mata Sahib Kaur gave to the Khalsa by putting the sugar in the water of the first Amrit Sanchar? It seems that everyone is fighting, and out to get one another.

Every day, when we do Ardas and bless the parshad, we instill the strength of steel as the kirpan goes through it; and, as we taste it, we are supposed to remember the sweetness of this path and bring this sweetness to our lives and those around us.

Sikhs cannot be the protectors and leaders of the world if they lose this sweetness and are always fighting. It needs a fine balance.

I had a friend visit from England recently and, after a few days, we both realized many major differences in how we practiced some things related to Sikhi. Overall, the core practices were the same, but there were some things which were different and conflicting. It was interesting learning from each other. We were both open-minded, so it was fine.

Many of the practices, in my opinion, seemed a bit extreme and I didn't agree with them. However, I understood that this was how she was raised and learned Sikhi, and this worked for her. In the same way, I have learned and experienced Sikhi in different ways myself (which other people might not agree with either).

In the end, neither of us was right or wrong. What counts is that we are on this path working on ourselves to become better people.

There are so many different people from various backgrounds and any one way isn't the only way (otherwise there would not be so many religions and spiritual paths). Sikhi is such a beautiful path and lifestyle to follow. It seems somewhere along the way (maybe when the British took over India), Sikhi started being practiced like a rulebook, and the guilt complex came in with judgment/heaven/hell/guilt.

Even some of the English translations of the Guru Granth Sahib reflect this with the way that it is translated.

It's no wonder so many are no longer practicing this beautiful Sikh lifestyle, when at every turn they are judged and criticized.

When an outsider reads about Sikhi, it all sounds so beautiful, but in practice we as a whole, worldwide community have a long way to go to get back on the path that the Gurus left for us. When people think of Sikhs, they should think of kindness, courage, strength, honesty, nobility, and most of all ACCEPTANCE!

So much of what Guru Nanak taught was about breaking down the barriers of differences and showing that we are all One. He taught a message of acceptance, equality, oneness, and yet this practice is largely ignored. We could probably argue about the definition of a Sikh and say that someone who cuts their hair is not a Sikh.

While this is not the full path that was taught by our Gurus, who are we to judge whether someone else is a Sikh or not? That is a very personal thing between an individual and his or her Guru. We all go through our ups and downs in life, which hopefully teach us lessons and bring us closer to this Oneness/God.

Too often, we focus on these outward things and try to find differences and divide rather than find similarity (black, white, brown, sehajdhari, amritdhari, this Sikh, that Sikh, good Sikh, bad Sikh). If you are amritdhari and don't do your banis one day...or miss something, automatically the norm is guilt for many.

I look at this lifestyle as a set of tools that you practice to get certain benefits and reach a certain goal. A good story to illustrate this is the story of Guru Gobind Singh and the Goldsmith.

You might exercise to stay healthy. If you commit to exercising every day and miss a day, I would hope that you wouldn't beat yourself up about it. You simply failed to get the benefit from that "tool" that day, and will get back to doing the exercise the next day. Right?

I'm not trying to make light of the commitment to our Guru when taking Amrit, but just trying to show how guilt and criticism take away from this experience of being a Sikh and how it is a personal thing that you work on every day.

I live this way because it makes me feel good and connects me with a higher self. I don't do it out of guilt or obligation. We are not perfect beings and it takes work on a daily basis. As long as you keep trying and working on guiding yourself back to this path, when you "stumble off", then you are fine.

To summarize,  I'll try to make a few points.

1   If we are more conscious of our thoughts and our mind, it is easier to make a change and be open to other people and differences. To see the oneness and sameness in each and every person, in spite of any perceived differences. The first step to breaking a habit is to be aware of it and conscious when you are doing it.

2   Just because someone practices or does something differently than you doesn't make the other person's way wrong or incorrect. We all relate to things based on our own experience and what is right for me isn't necessarily right for someone else.

3   Don't judge or criticize people (as hard as that may be, since it is human nature to do so). Instead, use this energy to work on yourself and become a better person. None of us are perfect. Each of us have more than enough things to work on in our own life.

 

January 8, 2008

[Courtesy: MrSikhNet.com]

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