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Memories That Bind Us

DIPA KAUR

 

 

 






What began as a viewing of restored family films from 1961 to the 80s ended up reminding me of the meaning of family.

My father (Sardar Sangat Singh) was passionate about taking films on 8mm and Super 8mm with his trusty old movie camera. His directorial (and occasional appearance) efforts covered his own wedding in 1961, the births of my sisters, countless birthday parties, me learning how to ride a bicycle, and our family holidays in India, London, Canada, Russia and Japan.

These were just films sitting in my father’s library … until our visiting tech savvy cousin, Rajan (from Toronto, Canada) took charge of the rolls, transported the precious cargo to Canada, painstakingly recorded them into HD 1080p, collated them into short films for posting on YouTube.

The result? A delightful mash of restored precious memories and connecting our family dear and far with technology.

What happened next … our family and friends all over the world were overwhelmed. Because what lay captured therein were human emotions, radiating genuine smiles, not rehearsed, not photo-shopped, and certainly no selfie or welfie poses. My parents tenderly holding our hands while crossing the roads or for no reason at all. My head resting on my mother’s shoulder, and her warm hands patting me. My sisters and I exchanging our excitement watching the Montreal Olympics in 1976. Playing with our cousins and friends, grinning and giggling away.

Seeing our dearest grandparents, family members and family friends who have since departed. Evidence of our my parents and their extended hospitalities -- pure open hearts, radiating warmth.

Our sedate family whats-app group suddenly came alive with the exchange of our memories. Laughing about the past, remembering incidents and sheer amazement with the films and my father’s ingenuity.

My other realization was of the big hearts of the family members who welcomed us to their houses on all our holidays. For example, my cousin Bindra in London with her family of four and we of 6, totalling 10, all packed in one small house with just one bathroom in Barking … for seven days.

We only remember happiness and warmth from that holiday.

And the list goes on for the family in Canada, India, … and so.

Looking back, we now understand in our later years that our parents, elders, family and friends really loved us. At that time we may have felt that our parents were strict, even harsh, and uncompromising. But we have learnt in our later years as we have become parents ourselves that after all, they were neither cruel nor unreasonable.

It was Steve Jobs who said along the lines that you cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. These memories suddenly make sense in the present

Photos and sharing on social media are ubiquitous today. In between pictures of food, Twitter and Instagram, I suggest you do add family videos. It’s highly recommended as these are the memories that bind us and preserve the past.

We are truly fortunate to have had this opportunity to evidence our past five-and-a-half decades.

Thank you very much, dear Papa, for your amazing film direction and your deft capture of human emotions.

Thank you to Rajan for painstakingly restoring our family memories and making all of this possible.


The author is the youngest daughter of Sardar Sangat Singh and Sardarni Upkar Kaur.


July 31, 2016
 

Conversation about this article

1: Jagjeet Singh (Malaysia), August 01, 2016, 10:27 AM.

A profound article on the values of an extended family. Very true, we should depict more of such family values as these are so pertinent today, especially as people seem to be getting busier by the day with hardly any time left to connect, as in the past.

2: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), August 01, 2016, 3:39 PM.

This lovely recapitulation by Dipa was a surprise. I saw it only after it was published. She has rolled back the clock while we remain victims of growing up, as must happen to all. These nice memories extend our mortality when children, seeing grandparents and others for the first time, re-live emotions. They also carry forward in their adulthood and show their own kids how they themselves looked as kids, and their antics. Glad of the happiness in the footage.

3: Ravinder Pal Singh Kalra (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), August 01, 2016, 9:55 PM.

Thanks for the great recap of the warmth that these videos have opened up. It was an honor to be entrusted with the precious films for conversion by none other than the master film-maker himself. While working on them, I was amazed at Sangat Mama ji’s self-taught filming skills, knowing well that most of the works were from the 1960's and 70's when camera technology wasn't as great as today. But then I remembered all his other self learnt technical skills in electronics, electricals, radio ham, and his ongoing management of the Satellite Ground Station at Kuala Lumpur while frequently making contact with the International Space Station. All these forays into science are well complemented by his love for gurbani, books and spiritual insights that he reveals in his unique and entertaining manner. He is one of the strongest common threads of our extended family and a great role model for everyone who comes in contact with him. We are thankful to The Almighty for blessing us with his love.

4: Molly Thambi (Kolkata, India), August 02, 2016, 12:21 AM.

Dipa, I just loved your reminiscences. We belong to a generation that grew up being part of extended families no matter how far away we lived. Holidays meant visiting relatives ... not traveling for leisure as we know it now. It's those holidays that bound us to our cousins across the world and we can still confidently call them in times of need even if we do not keep in touch often. It's those holidays which taught us social skills and how to accept people the way they are, to respect traditions and most of all to adjust to any circumstance. You've done a great job of writing down what most people born in the 60s feel off and on. Thank you for rekindling childhood memories. You did touch a chord in everyone who read this. [I am your sister Simran's friend in Kolkata, India].

5: Jatinder Sethi (Gurgaon, India), August 02, 2016, 2:03 AM.

My message is for Sardar Sangat Singh, mama to some, father to a large and large-hearted family. My contact with him came through my memories of Lyallpur (he must have introduced me to you all). After reading this tribute to Sangat by his big family, I feel sad that I stopped after just two sons, and have only one grand child, though I was the youngest of six brothers and two sisters, and do have a great number of nephews and nieces. God bless you all from an old Lyallpur-walla.

6: Vimaljit Kaur Sangat Singh (Seremban. NS. Malaysia), August 02, 2016, 2:27 AM.

It was wonderful watching and reminiscing the good old days with family and friends, all captured on Papa's video recordings. They were like booster shots rekindling our long lost memories. Most of the events suddenly appeared as flash-backs and like a jigsaw puzzle. We sisters tried to recall the whole escapade. Thank you, Rajan, for making this possible and Dipa, for penning it down beautifully.

7: Simran Gupta (Kolkata, India), August 02, 2016, 11:20 AM.

Dipa, your article was written simply and yet carried so much of depth and emotion. Our childhood was indeed beautiful. We learned how to share and live together. I remember our mother telling us to be nice and gracious to anyone visiting our home. And the same advice when we visited others. And her words that no one can make you happy except yourself, echo in my mind till now.

8: Shubha  (Bangalore, India ), August 02, 2016, 11:35 AM.

Your most valuable family possessions are the shared experiences and memories that link your hearts together. Memories are powerful family possessions that profoundly link hearts together. Everyone in a family needs to be diligent in planning memories (as well as enjoying those that come as surprises) and taking necessary steps to save or catch them. Memory catchers ... not dream catchers ... should rule! Thanks, Dipa, for your from-the-heart account of a big-hearted family. And for invoking latent memories. Loving it!

9: Simran Kaur Grewal (Sydney, Australia), August 03, 2016, 3:32 AM.

What a beautiful article written by my dearest Maasi. It's definitely an honour to be part of such an amazing family. These days everyone lives separately in their nuclear family set up. I feel lucky, thanks to my parents, that although we live 12 hours' flight away from everyone the bond is still so strong. This is a great reminder to appreciate our dearest ones and cherish the lovely memories we have with one another. It's also a nice wake-up call to our whatsapp family chat, which is now alive again! Great to see 125 messages / hour. We love you, Nana ji, and the great work you've always done behind the scenes. Thanks, Dipa Maasi, for a lovely article. Like Roshan Singh said - Family isn't the most important thing, it is everything xxxx

10: Harbir Kaur Grewal (Auckland, New Zealand ), August 03, 2016, 5:13 AM.

Thank you, my little sister, for summarising our childhood so beautifully. We are indeed blessed to have wonderful loving parents and a beautiful family. Rajan, thank your for unveiling Papa's valuable treasure and working tirelessly to be able to share the movies with us. Papa has rekindled wonderful memories for our extended family and they have definitely struck a chord bringing us closer to each other. I can still remember vividly how Papa used to be armed with his recorder and tell us to move and talk normally and not pose as if he was taking a still photograph. These memories are engraved in our hearts forever.

11: Aparajita Gupta (London, United Kingdom), August 03, 2016, 9:24 AM.

Dipa Maasi's words are exactly as genuine as the person herself. Nana ji wielded his photographic talent, and Uncle Ravinder expertly converted his work to make it accessible in the modern day, but what was captured (just like in the article) was the bond of a family - that cannot be replicated no matter the amount of flair. What Nana ji captured was real life, laughter and moments - unlike the heavily edited dream lives we live on social media. I'm very happy that these precious memories have been recovered so that we may relive these memories again and again.

12: Dr Harinder Pal Singh (Patiala, Punjab), August 03, 2016, 10:07 AM.

Kudos, Dipa, for taking us down the memory trail. Feelings are bereft of words when it comes to your Dad and my adorable uncle and your equally lovable mom whose role has been as important in cementing the family bonds. Kahlil Gibran said that your children come through you, not from you. But you sisters, all four of you, make me question Gibran. Because all of you, in your different ways, exhibit qualities of head and heart that your parents have and extrapolate them to make strong family bonds. Dipa, my kiddo sister, you have so eloquently put down your thoughts. Can't help commenting about the wedding or its movie which was the initiating point of this article. This marriage of your parents was held in the month of May in what was then a desert Ganganagar (Rajasthan). And I am convinced the setting gave the idea to renowned author Ruth Prawer Jhabvala to write 'Heat & Dust'!

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