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All images of the brahmins busy at their work are by Amit Dev of Reuters.

Humour

Where's Dev Anand When You Need Him Most?

based on News Report by INDIAN EXPRESS

 

 

Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India - Wednesday, June 30, 2010

With all the 77 reservoirs under it in Rajkot circle about to hit the rock bottom, a helpless Irrigation Department on Monday chose to seek divine intervention.

From superintendent engineer to peon, every employee of the department was in attendance for a session of prayers led by the Gayatri Parivar at Bahumali Bhavan on Race Course Road.

"There is hardly any rainfall and no fresh inflow. So, the department just decided to seek divine intervention," said Superintendent Engineer P.A.Totlani.

Yes, Mr. Totlani did obtain his Engineering degree from India. 

Sources said special prayers were organised to worship the Hindu god of wind, Vayudev, since it was the "high velocity wind delayed the monsoon in Gujarat".

Specially scripted placards were held up to the heavens by local school children - who were given the day off for their contribution - in two different languages. Vayudev is good with winds, but it is not clear how he does with reading ... and in which language!

"Going by the figures we collect daily from all the dams scattered across seven districts in Saurashtra, the picture is getting gloomier with by the day. Offering prayers is one of the ways to improve things," said Assistant Engineer J.C. Kalaria.

Yes, Mr. Kalaria also obtained his Engineering degree from India.

At the programme, members of Gayatri Parivar chanted slokas seeking blessings of the Hindu rain god, Varun, which was followed by a session of singing in Raga Malhar, which is believed to be a musical note specially liked by the rain god.

It is expected that since both the relevant and applicable gods have been praised adequately, they should be appeased by now and either Vayudev or Varun, if not both, will respond before long.

However, at the flood control cell located in the same building, figures on the latest water levels in the dams, which are collected twice a day, continue to paint a grim picture.

"There has been fresh inflow only in one of the 77 dams. The collective water level in all the 77 dams at present is only around 6.5 per cent of the total holding capacity," said Superintendent Engineer Totlani.

[Those of you who are weak in geography and do not know where Gujarat is: it is a province in western India. Yes, it's the same one currently ruled by a mass-murderer, Narendra Modi. To date, he too has deftly managed to evade persecution - not unlike the mass-murderers of New Delhi 1984. He and his governing party, all belong to the Gayatri Parivar, which is behind these beautiful chants being addressed to the gods.]    

Rain in South Gujarat brings respite from heat
South Gujarat got respite from scorching heat on Tuesday (June 29, 2010), with the region receiving moderate rainfall in the last 24 hours. In Surat, rainfall started early in the morning and continued till late in the afternoon.

But now, waterlogging incidents are being reported from different areas in the city.

According to the flood control department of the Surat Municipal Corporation, 13 mm rainfall was recorded between 6 am and 6 pm.

New prayers in South Gujarat are now being planned, also addressed to the Hindu rain god Varun - but definitely NOT in Raga Malhar this time around - asking him to send no more rain to this part of Gujarat.

One dead as lightning strikes in Dangs district
One man died and two others were critically injured after lightning struck them in Dangs district in the last 24 hours. Gama Puwar (37), a resident of Kuttarchiniya village in Ahwa, was returning to home from the fields when the incident took place. He reportedly died on the spot. The injured have been identified as Ganga Mansu (40), a resident of Pipalner village, and Ravina Dalvi (14), a resident of Gundwahan village in Ahwa.

The were admitted in the government hospital in Ahwa with severe burn injuries.

Prayers are now being urgently organized to the Hindu god of thunder and lightening, Indra, asking him to, at the very least,  please lay off the lightening for a bit ...

[With the hurricane season upon the United States and Hurricane Alex - not clear if this one is male or female - already making its way to Texas, it may be time for the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the U.S. National Security Agency (NSA) to hire a few brahmin pandits from Gujarat. They can do wonders, especially if they come from unscheduled Hindu castes! Maybe one of our American readers should give them a call and let them know ...?] 

 

June 30, 2010

 

 

Conversation about this article

1: Manny Singh (Liverpool, United Kingdom), June 30, 2010, 8:04 PM.

May the good Lord bless these people - and keep them away from us, as far as possible. Thank you, Waheguru, for Sikhi!

2: Jessie  (New Brunswick, Canada), June 30, 2010, 8:16 PM.

Okay. Why are the brahmins in the pots? Why are the pots not on the fire? Why didn't someone clean the pots first? Every day brings a new story of sheer stupidity from India ... "Har shaakh pey ulloo baitha hai ...!" No, I'm not criticizing Hinduism. I'm criticizing these bloody engineers who draw massive salaries in one of the richest economies in the world ... and they haven't heard of alternative methods to prepare for droughts? Every year, it's too much water, or too little, too much heat, or too much cold ... it's bad enough that we humans have to deal with unexpected disasters. But how do you cope with a people who sit back and wait for the next cycle to repeat itself, season after season? And when it invariably gets difficult, as it will from time to time if things are left on their own, they jump into pots and throw ghee into a fire placed a few feet safely away. I better stop here before I say something really inappropriate for this site!

3: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), July 01, 2010, 9:06 AM.

This is nothing new. Brahmins have always had ways to separate fools from their money, be it any situation - drought or excessive rain. You name it, there was a cure for a price. If it did not work, one of the numerous gods and goddesses had interfered. Remember Guru Angad and the Tapa story? As the story goes: One year there were no monsoons and the ensuing drought had greatly distressed the villagers. They went to Tapa for help. He was jealous of Guru Angad that they revered a family man and not him, an ascetic. 'Go and ask your Guru', he taunted. They did and the Guru replied: "Be satisfied with Waheguru' Will." Not satisfied, they went back to the Tapa who said if you expel the Guru I will bring you the rain within twenty four hours. The Guru voluntarily left Khadur and went quite a long distance away. Baba Amar Das found the Guru's house empty and the villagers narrated the story to Babaji. In the meantime Tapa failed to bring the promised rain. Baba Amar Nath then told the villagers that if Tapa was punished, they would get rain, and while he was being punished, rain came down in torrents. When Guru Angad heard of Tapa's punishment, he felt much aggrieved and admonished Amar Das for not containing his powers. Amar Das fell at Guru Angad's feet and asked for forgiveness. The rotund brahmins in equally round tubs are no different from that erstwhile Tapa. What would poor Dev Anand do?

4: Kanwarjeet Singh (Franklin Park, New Jersey, U.S.A.), July 02, 2010, 3:54 AM.

Brahmins are shrewd capitalists and knows marketing very well. If you are such a stupid consumer, why wouldn't someone want to come and dupe you. Now what does that tell you about India where there are less than 5% Brahmins - says a lot about India, doesn't it. Watch Indians (especially Hindus) and you will be amazed to see the number of rituals they will perform on a daily basis - tying a red thread, tying a yellow thread and then tying red thread on their wrists, kissing some image of some idol in their lcokets, stopping at every moorti on the way to their work, and so on and so forth. It's actually a lot of fun watching them ;).

5: Taran (London, United Kingdom), July 02, 2010, 6:03 AM.

Well, this is India! And it has always been like this since I have known it. Sheer gross violation of all possible common sense!

6: Karamjeet Singh Lamba (Ahmedabad, India), July 02, 2010, 3:23 PM.

Dear S. Sangat Singh ji: I have heard a different version of the story around Guru Angad. Someone had said that on whose field Tapa would set foot, rain would fall on that field. People began to pull the poor fellow in all directions, until Guru Angad himself intervened.

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