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Tresses
INNI KAUR
“Why do Sikh girls violate themselves, by cutting their hair?” my friend asks.
I hear the anguish in his voice. I see the pain in his eyes.
I say nothing. There is nothing I can say.
Because, once I too was one of those girls. Seems like a lifetime ago and yet not so. In my late teens, I began trimming my hair to take care of the split-ends.
Or so I said to myself. Then a few inches came off, and another few inches as time went by.
To answer the question, “Did I feel violated?” the answer is ‘No‘. On the contrary, I felt liberated.
Foolish thinking, but a prerogative of youth.
Then, 1984 transpired.
I stopped trimming my hair. I don’t know why. But, I did. Years flew. Hair grew. I didn’t dwell on it. The hair was just there. Then …
Shabad entered my life.
Everything changed. The hair that was just there -- it became my jewel.
I nurtured it.
I honored it.
Because I fell in love with shabad.
And, when one is in love, one yearns to be drenched in the color of one’s love.
My love affair continues. My hair grows. The hair that was once black, is now turning silver. For someone who hated the mirror, I find myself gazing at it every morning and rejoicing. For my hair has become a work of art.
I am loving this phase.
Every night, before I go to bed, I brush my long tresses and am filled with gratitude. How lucky can I be?
It’s been quite the journey. And the journey continues.
Will you, my dearest friend, think less of me or will you understand? That I changed, only because I fell in love.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Inni Kaur is the author of ‘Journey with the Gurus’ series; ‘Sakhi-Time with Nani ji’; and ‘Thank You, Vahiguru.’ She serves as the Chair of the Board of Directors of The Sikh Research Institute.
January 12, 2016
Conversation about this article
1: Pardeep Singh Nagra (Toronto, Ontario, Canada), January 12, 2016, 4:48 PM.
Thanks for sharing, Inni. It would be interesting to know if your friend has the same concern about Sikh boys and asks the same question of Sikh men. If yes, then the question could simply be: "Why do some Sikhs violate themselves ...?"
2: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), January 16, 2016, 2:20 AM.
Prof. Puran Singh too fell in love. Once he too was shorn, but Bhai Vir Singh brought him back to the Sikhi fold in just one evening. In the words of Prof. Puran Singh: "Mainu pher daakhal keeta gaya" - 'I was re-admitted!"
3: Gurpreet Singh (Mumbai, India), January 29, 2016, 3:19 AM.
Thank you Inni Kaur ji for sharing your thoughts through this lovely article. In the beginning, during your youth, many a time you are outwardly and are only in the thought of looking good and appealing to the world around you according to its "standards" but when His Grace falls on the chosen one, that person does not feel the urge or need to violate the Code of Conduct that Guru Gobind Singh Ji has so lovingly created for His gursikhs so that they are protected always. It is a question of being in love of the One and this can happen at anytime to anyone. As Inni ji has said, it is a question of being in love and being drenched in it.