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Six Lessons I Learnt From My Grandmother

RISHMA JOHAL

 

 

 

I was just browsing the internet earlier today when I came across some very rude comments that someone had made towards another person based on their religion in a video.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time but it made me think of Sikh lessons that my grandmother taught me at a very young age. I consider myself lucky to have understood these points early on because they ingrained a deep disposition for social justice in my heart that diverged from some of my peers.

I grew up in an area with many Sikh-Canadians and others from the subcontinent, but I have heard so many misconceptions about Sikhism -- that is, who people think we ’love’ and who we ’hate’, for example.

I know that not everyone has the same guidance that our grandmother gave us or the resources to learn about Sikhi from a non-politically oriented medium. Consequently, I think it’s significant to share these values and lessons with the upcoming generation as my Naani ji did with me, without any political leanings. That is, Sikhi in its purity.

Respect For People Of All Religions

Sikhism began with Guru Nanak, the very first Guru, who was born in a Khatri family that practised Hinduism. However, Nanak turned away from his religion of birth and introduced a revolutionary set of beliefs in Sikhi.

He didn’t ask anyone to convert. Rather, for him imparting his teachings about spirituality was what was important. Thus Sikhs, surrounded by Hinduism and Islam, were exhorted to respect people of all faiths.

Helping Others

Sikhism is about helping people regardless of their religion, class, social status, etc. I remember so many nights when we annoyed my Naani and begged her to recite the story of “Sacha Sauda”. We loved hearing about the way that Guru Nanak selflessly gave away his very first ‘investment capital’ to feed hungry sadhus (mendicants) and declared his act a ‘profitable bargain‘.

The details of the story didn’t matter but the main lesson taught us to overlook classist individualism and to share with others; it compelled us to always think of helping those in need.

No Enmity

A true Sikh never raises his/her hand on one who is innocent and never makes one an enemy based on ignorance. Nani ji told me that Guru Gobind Singh gave all the oppressors and tyrants every chance to mend their ways, but when all peaceful means failed, only then did he fight.

Sikhs defend those in need. Guru Sahib spent his life assisting those who were helpless and sacrificed all he had in this service. Sikhs protect the innocent and needy; and live nirbhau (without fear) and nirvair (without hate).

Ik Oankar

The opening message of our Scripture means that all of creation is One with the One Creator of all. However, that should never be interpreted that it is our God. Naani always said that God can appear differently to different people, and they may worship in a variety of ways but it is important to understand that at the end of the day, there is only One God -- the God of all.

She taught me that Waheguru or Akal Purakh is unfathomable and incomprehensible for us mortals but we must continue in our search and faith. 

Be Inclusive

Sikhs are to never judge or exclude people based on caste, creed, colour, etc. My grandmother taught us that our Gurus made it perfectly clear that caste had no relevance or importance in our lives.

She told us stories of Bhagat Ravidas, a so-called low-caste Hindu, and how he was wrongly excluded from religious rituals by ignorant priests. In Sikhism, his baani is included in our scriptures and given the same status as that of the Gurus.

Thus, she taught us to respect everyone, regardless of any man-made divisions, especially caste and religion.

Raj Karega Khalsa

Those who live pure lives will prevail. This phrase is not to be mistaken as a claim to world dominance. It carries the message of Guru Nanak, as built upon by the Gurus that followed, that Truthful Living is central to the Sikh Way of Life.

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My grandmother had this funny habit of randomly quizzing us on these types of Sikh beliefs and principles and then correcting us to ensure that we understood their true import.

This is just a short list of the lessons that my grandmother taught me but I think they are significant for the next generation to understand. I have heard many myths in relation to these points which deserve to be debunked.

Furthermore, I think that we sometimes focus too much on details and argue about particular points instead of instilling the values that our Gurus wanted us to learn -- which are principles of basic humanity and decency. They wanted us to treat each other with love and respect; spread goodness and kindness; and propagate justice. Moreover, that justice did not depend on a person’s religion, caste, class, gender, etc. but purely on universal principles.

I am grateful that I grew up with that understanding and my grandmother was there to teach me these lessons whenever I appeared to be veering away. She was a learned woman and educated at an unusually high level for a woman of her time.

Thank you, Naani ji, for giving me a Sikh upbringing and teaching me to open my arms to the world and to treat all as my brothers and sisters.


In loving memory of Sardarni Jagjit Kaur Ahluwalia; you will forever remain in our hearts.


April 28, 2015
 

Conversation about this article

1: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), April 29, 2015, 6:52 AM.

Rishma ji, you were lucky to have had such a wonderful Naani who simplified the most profound and revolutionary shabads of Guru Nanak for you in such simple terms that no other religion had ever prescribed: "Nanak vaychaaraa ki-aa kahai sab lok salaahay ayksai / sir naanak lokaa paav hai / balharee jaa-o jaytay tayra naav hai" [GGS:1168.14] - 'What can poor Nanak say? All people praise the One Lord. Nanak places his head on the feet of such people and to Your Names, as many as there are." Just that your dear Naani said in one line: "Remember Him any way you like". A little toddler on all fours calls his father or mother all kinds of funny names and sometimes it is mere babble, but to which, regardless, father and mother respond instantly.

2: Yoga Para Todos (Colombia), April 29, 2015, 7:56 PM.

Dear sister: We are the ones who did the video. Your article fills our hearts of hope and wisdom. It was hard for us to remember how violent and radical can be some people in the name of "God" when everything is about love and union, respectful and being authentic. Our souls are connected. Sat Naam! Great grandmother!

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