People
From Four Shernis … On the 53rd Anniversary of The Founding of Their Pride
FOR SARDAR SANGAT SINGH & SARDARNI UPKAR KAURby VIIMAL, SIMRAN, HARBIR & DIPA KAUR
Sardar Sangat Singh and Sardarni Upkar Kaur: aka Papa and Mummy, Nanaji and Nani-ma, our best friends, confidantes, therapists, advisers, always-there … our dearest parents.
Today we celebrate the two people who have nurtured, moulded and brought us up, their four daughters, their shernis (cub lionesses), with nothing less than the best: love, devotion, generosity, care, and yet with so much left over to share with the rest of the world.
We cannot do full justice to how we feel today as we simply cannot reduce all of our thoughts into writing.
Our home, as far as the four of us remember, was always filled with family, friends, food, laughter, conversation, generosity and affection. They never stopped flowing.
All of that, coupled with religious, spiritual and moral values and an infinite supply of books.
Of course, not to gloss over the occasional skirmishes between parents and children, which we now understand and appreciate better, as we too have turned into parents in our later years.
What more could we possibly ask for?
The maids who worked with our family would start off calling our parents ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am‘, and then quickly progressed to ‘Papa’ and ‘Mummy‘. Each goodbye from the maids would be filled with tears as they felt they were leaving their own homes.
The love story of our parents is not a conventional one.
Devoid of courtship, it wasn’t something you could turn into a Bollywood or Hollywood film easily.
They met for the first time at their Anand Karaj (wedding ceremony) on 28 May, 1961.
They had four daughters, and the family happily expanded with sons-in-law. Eight grandchildren followed.
Both, our lion and lioness, are equally independent, headstrong, feisty, practical and determined, each in his/her own way. They share their affection freely and liberally, even when it is accompanied by anger or grumpiness.
To share one quirky story -- long before text messages and WhatsApp, they had a "I-am-not-talking-to-you" moment, as couples often go through over some minor argument.
So, all essential communication for the next few hours was by handwritten notes only.
"SS …”
(Initials for Sangat Singh. Mummy is from an era when you did not call your husband by his name),
“SS … Dinner is ready. Take your medicine …”
SS replies: "Darling Upkar, please wake me up at 5 am tomorrow."
At 5 the next morning, there was a note lying next to Papa, as he slept on: "SS … Wake up. It’s 5 am."
Never lovey dovey, never caught in the traditional indicia of romance, we hardly ever saw them hold hands.
But if you see the way they look at each other, or how they miss each other when apart, you would know right away that the love they have is deep and unwavering, and built on a strong foundation.
We would like to wish our dear Papa and Mummy, our Nana ji and Nani-ma, a very happy 53rd wedding anniversary.
If we had even half of your qualities, we would have achieved greatness!
P.S. We made the mistake of asking Papa how he would you like to celebrate their wedding anniversary. His prompt reply: "Separately!"
May 27, 2014
Conversation about this article
1: Paramjit Singh Grewal (Auckland, New Zealand), May 27, 2014, 1:36 PM.
Wishing Papa and Mummy ji a very happy anniversary.
2: Harbir Grewal (Auckland, New Zealand), May 27, 2014, 2:14 PM.
Happy wedding anniversary, Papa & Mummy. Words cannot describe how much we love both of you. We can't thank you enough for everything you have done for us. We appreciate the values you have instilled in us. Our children look up to both of you as their role models. We love you both. Thank you, God.
3: Jagdeep Kaur (New Zealand), May 27, 2014, 4:07 PM.
Wishing you both a very happy anniversary. God bless you both.
4: Jasvinder Parmar (New Zealand), May 27, 2014, 4:41 PM.
How sweet it is the ways of the family and our life together. Very well expressed emotions that many of us can relate to, especially the funny fights we all have. I am full of admiration for the family. Wishing all of you best wishes on this very special day.
5: Meena Singh (Auckland, New Zealand ), May 27, 2014, 7:40 PM.
Congratulations on your anniversary! Wishing you abundance of health and happiness today and forever.
6: Ishwindar (Australia), May 27, 2014, 7:52 PM.
Wishing you a Happy Anniversary!
7: Inni Kaur (Fairfield, Connecticut, USA), May 27, 2014, 8:06 PM.
Lakh, lakh vaddhayyian, bhai sahib ji.
8: Ujjagar Singh (London, Ontario, Canada), May 27, 2014, 9:08 PM.
53 years of married life -- and still going strong? Both of you deserve a Victoria Cross each, for bravery. Congratulations! Pray, what's your recipe?
9: Gurbux Singh (Chatsworth, California, USA), May 27, 2014, 9:14 PM.
Congratulations to you both for 53 years of marriage and to the future.
10: JS Grewal (New Zealand), May 27, 2014, 10:37 PM.
Happy anniversary, Nani-ma and Nana ji. I trust both of you will (as always) have a nice day. This article epitomizes what it's like knowing you two. All of us are incredibly lucky to have such upstanding role models in our lives.
11: Simran Grewal (Dunedin, New Zealand), May 28, 2014, 1:55 AM.
This piece definitely describes my amazing maternal grandparents. Wish you both a Happy Anniversary!Thank you for always being there for us and being incredible role models to us grandchildren. On behalf of all of us, a happy anniversary once again. With love to both of you.
12: Dya Singh (Melbourne, Australia), May 28, 2014, 2:42 AM.
We were together yesterday but not a squeek from you! But then, you do not ever want any kind of fuss. Happy anniversary, Sangat Singh ji and Bhain ji Upkar. You are the epitome of the perfect (as perfect as human life can be) couple. May Waheguru grant you many, many more anniversaries. We all love you very much.
13: Avinash Singh Radhakrishna (Seremban, Malaysia), May 28, 2014, 4:35 AM.
There are people in all our lives who inspire and change us for the better. If we are lucky, they become our role models to help guide us to achieve greater heights. We are blessed enough to have our nana and nani who are truly amazing grandparents. They are a delightful blend of laughter, caring, deeds, wonderful stories and most importantly, love! Their kind teachings and inspirational tales have steered us into the right path accompanied by invaluable virtues and values. We are very grateful for all the prayers and guidance from our Nana ji and Nani-ma which have been bestowed upon us. Thank you, both, for feeding us with both knowledge and food. Happy Anniversary.
14: Harinder Pal Singh (Patiala, Punjab), May 28, 2014, 5:18 AM.
This sher hadn't met the sherni before their anand karaj but this nephew of his had a peek-a-boo at her hostel on the pretext of delivering ladoos. Shy she was and though feigning ignorance, she didn't miss my admiring looks! And to this date she feigns ignorance but knows everything. The journey to snare her wasn't easy either, especially the dusty ride from Hindumalkot to the chak in Ganganagar. Entertainment by Laka and Kuku and King ji by my dad added some joy. The sher and sherni, over the course of the half-century, grew fond of each other. Credit to the sher too. He may have growled or scowled but I haven't seen anything but fondness for her. He is but held in place with a rope, albeit a long one. Two different personalities but each assuming its role and playing to a synergy to raise four wonderful cubs. That's worth saluting. Mama ji, they say there is only one perfect wife and every neighbour has it! But you have one at home. Mami ji, sher terrha hai par tera hai! Love you all.
15: Rani Sethi (Thailand), May 28, 2014, 5:56 AM.
We are so lucky to have you part of your lives - rubber plantations, intercoms, mind reading and so many happy moments with the girls. Wishing you a very, very happy anniversary. Lots of love, good cheer and happiness.
16: Goldie (India), May 28, 2014, 7:56 AM.
Wishing you both a very happy 53rd anniversary and many more years of loving togetherness to come. It's great to have such a wonderful family. You must really feel proud.
17: Nav Kaur (Sydney, Australia), May 29, 2014, 7:23 AM.
A very happy anniversary to S. Sangat Singh ji and Upkar Kaur ji! It's always a pleasure to read Sangat Singh ji's comments and delightful stories! We love having you on sikhchic.com!
18: Ravinder Pal Singh Kalra (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), May 29, 2014, 11:13 AM.
Happy Anniversary, dDear Mama ji and Mami ji! Yesterday, Mami ji shared with me the picture of the beautiful couple as they were about to cut the cake. In that picture, the sher can be seen standing dutifully with folded hands while the sherni is wielding the knife in front of the cake. When I shared this picture with my mother (the sher's loving sister), her first reaction was: "Beautiful picture, are they standing in Baba ji's room, doing ardaas, kirpan in hand?" My answer was "No, but Mama ji is of course standing in front of his goddess with folded hands." ;-)
19: Jagmohan Singh Chawla (Brockville, Ontario, Canada), May 29, 2014, 10:35 PM.
Wishing you both a very happy wedding anniversary. It was so nice to see the whole family in Malaysia in January. All the old memories came back and new ones were made. We should get togrther more often ... Harvinder, Jagmohan, Harmeet, Jasmeet, Raman, Jaideep and Disha.
20: Simarjot Kaur (Patiala, Punjab), May 31, 2014, 1:38 AM.
Wishing my favourite couple many more innings.
21: Balvider Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), June 01, 2014, 10:41 PM.
Happy Anniversary, Uncle Sangat Singh hii and Aunty Upkar Kaur ji.
22: Bhai Harbans Lal (Dallas, Texas, USA), June 02, 2014, 12:09 AM.
Congratulations for your steadfastness through that many years. Many things have changed since you were blessed in Anand Karaj, except for your commitment to community engagement. I did not realize that Amrita and I followed you three years later in 1964.
23: Jatinder Sethi (Gurgaon, India), July 27, 2016, 5:05 AM.
I dont know when was your anniversary, but please accept our good wishes. I wish, after reading this heart warming tribute to you, written by your offsprings, we should have had more children than just two. Great write up. I wish i could write like this. Incidentally, I am just completing a blog on the number of houses we have stayed during my working life, in Bombay and Delhi. I intend to use one piece of this tribute, if you have no obhection. Our home, as far as the four of us remember, was always filled with family, friends, food, laughter, conversation, generosity and affection. They never stopped flowing.