People
Reflections
TARNI KAUR
Tarni Kaur, our daughter returns home tomorrow, having been away for a semester at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada. Last week she shared with us her personal reflections. As parents, we see in these words an Eagle that is learning to majestically face the world, flying directly into the storm but leveraging the turbulence to learn how to soar even higher. Tarni, you make us proud – Welcome home! Here are Tarni’s own reflections below. [Proud Dad - Amardeep Singh]
REFLECTIONS by Tarni Kaur
Its been four months in a new continent, country, city, amongst new faces.
I am a new person in a way I can’t seem to entirely describe, let alone comprehend.
A lot has happened, but at the same time nothing.
Do I like this new self? I am not sure -- probably because the journey of my metamorphosis has just begun to accelerate. It’s as though, for a lack of a better word, a new layer of “stuff” has just been painted on me. There are moments when I just want to take a knife and scrap it off -- I miss what I was.
Human nature doesn’t exactly respond well to change initially, I guess. Maybe I am concentrating too hard on the new layer than actually contemplating on the fact that it’s just another addition.
The weather here is probably what I most associate with. It’s beautiful, raw, pure, solemn, free, and a little puerile. It’s callow but at the same time so full of wisdom.
Funny how I am talking about the weather as though it has life – life as we define it to be. But it does! It’s warming and calming. Not like how it was back home. Its different here. The bitter cold, and the warmth of the sun we all crave for here, coupled with the constant downpour, smothers me with kisses like mothers do to their babies.
It’s a reminder to me about how all of us humans are just as raw as the weather is. Its a part of us. What we feel inside us is just a reflection of what is around us.
So I guess what I am trying to say is – that change is alright. Because I am constantly evolving. Battling whether I am proud of what I am turning into doesn’t really matter. I have the entire cosmos surrounding me. It’s my womb, my safe haven. I will know; I will feel it just like the aura of nature.
I think the old me, who would read, contemplate and express needs to resurface -- she is still there underneath.
Poetry, art, literature need to get the hell back into my life …
[Tarni Kaur, born in Chennai, schooled across Hong Kong and Singapore, is currently in the second year of a B.Sc program at the University of British Columbia. She holds an eight-year diploma in Tabla and also plays the Dilruba.]
January 8, 2014
Conversation about this article
1: Dhanashree (Singapore), January 08, 2014, 8:47 PM.
Beautiful selection of words, Tarni, to depict your feelings. It makes me go back to my time of such change and how I dealt with it! Some memoirs stored deep within stirred and flashed back :) Enjoy your time back home - best wishes.
2: Harmeet Singh (USA), January 10, 2014, 8:42 PM.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing.