People

Always An Ambassador

AJITPAL SINGH RAINA

The other day I was getting ready to go out for a quick snack in New Jersey (USA). As I was tying my turban, my wife remarked, “Why are you wearing a turban instead of your patka/parna today? You always go casual on weekends”.

I did not have an answer and so I replied that I was just feeling like it that day.

“You do look better in a turban,” she remarked, “but I’m sure you’ll feel more comfortable in a patka in this sweltering weather”.

She was right in a way. Although I am very particular about wearing a turban to the office, gurdwara, public functions and other formal occasions  -- I even match my turban to my shirt or tie), I normally tend to resort to a patka/parna during shorter outings over the weekends.

It is faster, more convenient, and definitely more comfortable for activities over the weekend like biking, running, gym, etc.

It is also an excuse to be lazy; the head is covered after all, what difference does it make?

But for some reason, I was drawn to wearing a turban more often these days. Even I did not exactly know why.

Then it hit me one day.

We were travelling in the New York subway and were seated in a corner. We reached a station and a couple walked in with a little kid. It was crowded and they did not find a seat. Instinctively, I got up and offered the lady my seat. She thanked me for it and sat her child on her lap.

My wife normally scoffs at me for giving up my seat (“No one does this in the New York subways”, she says), but she seemed okay this time, considering there was a child involved.

It was a simple act for me, no big sacrifice on my part. I do this frequently: offer my seat to women, old folk or little kids.

Yet something clicked in my mind that very instant.

Although it was no effort on my part, it made the family’s journey less cumbersome. The mother would have felt safe with her kid on her lap in a packed train. The kid would be a little less reluctant to travel in the subway next time. People around would notice the gesture too, since usually, “No one does this in New York subways!”

And the person they will associate with this act, would be - not me, because they do not know me, nor will they ever see me again -- a man wearing a turban!

We have all noticed, read or experienced situations where people get stereotyped negatively because of their look, color of skin or articles of faith. With every bombing, shooting or terrorist threat, people get more awkward around people of specific communities or those who “look like they belong to those communities”.

I must admit I have endured many a stare when travelling with big luggage on the metro/subway (although it is reduced whenever I travel with my wife now … a perk of being married I suppose), even though I have never faced a direct verbal slur or a physical assault.

With the Boston marathon bombings, the feeling of insecurity and fear started looming in the air again.

During such trying times, it seems far too tempting to try and blend in rather than to stand out.

But a silver lining in this cloud is our chance to promote a positive stereotype under such circumstances.

For every bearded or turban wearing individual shouting curses at the West on TV, we have a chance to counter the distortion by portraying how the majority of us live a normal life: individuals who have happy families and social circles. Individuals who go about their jobs and their professions. Individuals who do charity and philanthropy, besides their daily routine. Individuals who are proud and responsible citizens.

I think each one of us can contribute to this effort. For every time we do a good deed or act in our Sikhi saroop (identity), people around us will remember us for a positive reason. It’ll set their minds at ease to have ‘others’ around -- different, yet normal -- during troubling times.

They will always remember, for example, the turbaned guy they encountered once on a subway, who was courteous to a family when it mattered.

So let’s, each one of us, do our part. Be proud of who we are and what we stand for - be proud of our Sikhi. Not only wear our turban and our unshorn kesh, but also live Sikhi to the max.

Our Gurus gave us these gifts to stand out in a crowd -- an entirely American concept that preceded and anticipated the dream and vision of America by centuries!

Whether we stand out and add to our collective positive image or a negative one is entirely up to each one of us.

[Originally from Mumbai, the author has been in the US since 2006. He did his Master’s at Virginia Tech, and currently lives and works in the Washington, DC area.]

May 24, 2013

 

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