People
Raj Mohan Kaur:
Survivor of 1947 and 1984, She Inspired her Novelist Son to Tell Our Stories
OBITUARY
RAJ MOHAN KAUR [1944 - 2012]
Raj Mohan Kaur, 68, an exemplary human being, passed away unexpectedly in Delhi, India, on 29/30 December, 2012.
She had a silent heart attack at night during her sleep. She is survived by her husband, two children, and a grandson.
An exceptionally talented and creative person, one of those who are never known outside of immediate kinship circle because of the social fibre, Raj Mohan (Mohani) was a very bright student, a college lecturer of economics, a caregiver, and a translator.
She was a Partition survivor, and also witnessed the November 1984 pogrom in Delhi.
Born in a Sikh family in 1944 in Lyallpur (now in Pakistani Punjab), she was only three years old when Punjab and India were divided and experienced unprecedented violence. In 1947 her entire family was rescued from Lyallpur by the legendary IAF pilot Air Commodore Mehar Singh, and it was in his Dakota they were all airlifted to Amritsar.
She grew up in the city of Ludhiana, where her father worked as headmaster of Malwa Khalsa School. It was in Ludhiana she received an M.A. in economics from Government College for Boys, standing first in a class largely composed of men. Throughout her life, in her own way, she resisted the heavily patriarchal
structures of Punjabi and Indian society.
After her studies she worked for a couple of years as a lecturer at Malwa College, Baodli, Samrala.
During this time the 1965 war was fought between India and Pakistan, and during this time she also got an opportunity to migrate to a Western country, but decided not to do so. A year later she married an officer in the Indian army (who soon joined the BSF). She stopped teaching then and accompanied her husband to remote border areas in Assam, Nagaland, Mizoram, Punjab, and near the line of control in Jammu and Kashmir. The postings also took them to Srinagar, Delhi, Calcutta, and Bangalore.
After her husband retired, the two of them settled down in Delhi. Together they travelled to UK, US, and Canada, but consciously decided against a permanent move abroad.
At the time of her unexpected death she was working on her memoirs in Punjabi, which she had titled, ‘Physiology de Practical’.
Four years ago she had also translated her son’s novel, Chef, from English to Punjabi. The book was published as “Halka Dard” by Hemkunt Press in 2009. Her son, Jaspreet Singh, is a writer based in Canada.
She also inspired him to write a novel about November 1984, and was eagerly looking forward to reading his latest book, “Helium.”
Her own bookshelves were filled with works by Bhai Vir Singh. She had a profoundly poetic relationship with God. Her deep knowledge of gurbani was much talked about and admired; she would interpret gurbani generously for those who required help. Every year she used to complete at least three sehaj paatths of Guru Granth Sahib.
In addition, she was interested in the world of stories, literature, satire and radio drama. She especially enjoyed watching the Pakistani TV serial “Dhoop Kinare.”
She had a great desire for establishment of permanent peace between India and Pakistan, and yearned to return one day to the house where she was born in the city of Lyallpur (now known as Faisalabad).
Towards her later years she was very concerned about the fate of Punjabi language and culture, and the state of education in this country. Her daughter, Dilreen Kaur, a pedagogical consultant, profoundly inspired by her mother, is helping set up model schools in remote areas of Punjab, Rajasthan and Bhutan. Her husband, Partap Singh, has been involved with The Sikh Review for the last 15 years.
Her memorial kirtan was held on 4 January, 2013, at Sri Guru Granth Sahib Vidya Kendra, Delhi. Raj Mohan Kaur’s favorite shabad ‘saachi preet tum siyo jori / madhave tum na toro to hum nahin tore,’ touched hundreds of hearts present at the gurdwara and welled up so many eyes.
January 15, 2013
Conversation about this article
1: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), January 15, 2013, 11:34 AM.
Raj Mohan Kaur ji's life has brought back a flood of nostalgic memories. I was born in Lyallpur too and was 14 at the time of the Partition, and I too was flown in a Bharat Airways Dakota to Delhi and then settled in Ludhiana. In the late 50's, we had a house within a stone's throw of the Malwa Khalsa School on Civil Street. It had a gurdwara too and my respected Pita ji would attend it regularly every morning and evening. This kinship with Raj Mohan ji is very special. In those days the Govt. College for Women was diagonally across from the Malwa Khalsa School which itself later turned into a college. The Govt College for Women eventually moved to its present building on Jagraon Road.
2: Vikram Chhabra (USA), January 15, 2013, 4:23 PM.
I felt an intense sadness in my heart upon reading this unfortunate news. I grew up in Delhi and was very close to the family. She was one of the sweetest and most noble persons I have ever known. Her heart was full of immense kindness and she would welcome one and all into her household with love. She never judged anyone for their faults and would always have an infectious smile, irrespective of the circumstances. My heartfelt condolences go out to all her family and friends. Her presence will always be missed.
3: Sarjit Kaur (Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.), January 15, 2013, 4:51 PM.
Re her decision to stay put and not migrate again -- No home like one's hometown, jio!
4: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), January 15, 2013, 6:11 PM.
#3 Sarjit jio: When you have naam and contentment in your heart, the body can be anywhere.
5: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), January 26, 2013, 3:11 AM.
Here is another unexpected and pleasant surprise. Our families knew each other closely and originally belonged to Kamalia (Dist. Lyallpur) and shared the same surname 'Sukhija'. Raj Mohan's father, S. Avtar Singh, was my science teacher in Lyallpur. I even know where they lived. S. Avtar Singh was also a member of the Lyallpur Club in Company Bagh - an exclusive club where he would play tennis. It was his routine to have a game and then go to Wadda Gurdwara for the evening divan. Both the families, when uprooted in 1947, settled in Ludhiana. S. Avtar Singh was posted as the Headmaster of Malwa High School. Their house in Civil Street and ours had a common wall. My younger sister Rajinder (Jindi), now living in Toronto, and Raj Mohan were college mates. My niece Bindra, now living in UK, was probably Raj Mohan's class-mate. Both served as lecturers in Malwa College. They were all very close friends and dearly remember Raj Mohan as a scholarly, pious and extremely sweet-natured girl. All girls as decreed by Waheguru must leave the parental haven one day. It is "cheeriaa(n) da chamba" that must scatter and probably lose touch with their dear friends. "Sabhna saahurai vanj-naa sabh muklaavanhaar" [GGS:50.19] - "Everyone shall go to their Husband Lord. Everyone shall be given their ceremonial send-off after their marriage." Please check the following site for that soulful song: http://folkpunjab.com/tufail-niazi/sada-chirian-da-chamba/