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Can You Hold Him Up, Just For a Minute, Please?

T. SHER SINGH & BIRINDER SINGH AHLUWALIA

DAILY FIX

Thursday, August 30, 2012

There ought to be a law.

True, there’s already a law which prohibits a wife from being forced to testify against a husband.

But we also need a law which prohibits a wife from being compelled to testify in praise of a husband. 

Surely there ought to be a law which saves a wife from having to sing hymns and paens in praise of her husband after having suffered four long decades being married to him. From having to stand up in front of the world and be required to gush over how handsome he still is, how eternally loving and caring he has been every moment of every hour of every day of every year of every decade …

From having to list all your personal and private medical challenges and detail all the things he did while you were ill, but without being able to tell all that you had to do in birthing five children, in running a three-ring circus at home while he was traipsing around the country, about how you helped raise 18 grandchildren ... while he gets to play with them whenever he visits …

From having to describe your first night out together and to say he’s still as nice and wonderful as he was that first night …

Why? Pray, why do we need to hear a tired wife sing hallelujas of her tired husband?

Yeah, right … because he doesn’t want to disclose his tax returns. So what if everyone else does? People are saying he is lying, that he’s hiding things. No problem: it’s time to march out the wife and the kids and the grandchildren to tell us how nice a guy he really is.

And how really, really difficult it is raising a family in a bottomless pit of greed … you know, “the eye of the needle” and all that stuff.

But no tax returns. Only lies of what he did at Bain and when and for how long. And how much. And why.

He says all of that is not important.

Why?

Because his wife says he’s such a wonderful husband, the simple proof of which is that he has fathered five children, who in turn have fathered 18 of them. And they all smile so beautifully on cue.

But we should thank the good Lord for small mercies.

What a narrow escape we had. It could’ve been Newt Gingrich as Republican leader, and we would’ve had to hear each one of his wives about their first dates and how loving he’s been to each one of them … that is, before he left each one  dying … for the next one.

These Republicans have such wonderful family values. All you need to do is hear what their women say how they are treated - standing before a camera, a microphone and a whole lot of voters - and don’t you worry about their greed or their convoluted explanations as to why they should pay less taxes.  

Every Republican apologist given a sound-bite on TV or Radio or the Net this past week has repeated a single mantra: “We are going to tell you the Mitt Romney Story!”

But I thought we heard it all - from the Republicans themselves - during the primaries. Obama and his crowd didn’t even have to do any homework.

There’s more?

Then, why doesn’t Mitt tell us himself. Oh yes, we forgot … he doesn’t want to give us his tax returns. Or tell us why not.

Why? Oh, because he is shy, that’s why.

So, we’ll have to hear others tell the story.

Like Chris “The Hutt” Christie. [To be honest, Stephen Colbert coined this one.]

Did you hear Christie on Tuesday night? Great style he has, doesn’t he, pounding RESPECT and TRUTH out of the podium. Don’t know why, but why does he conjure up the image of another great American from New Jersey we’ve all grown to love so well? Tony Soprano, of course.

Here’s the principle: if you holler “Respect” and “Truth” often enough and loud enough, then you don’t need to practice either. Good rule.

And then, there's dear Condoleezza Rice. Another skilled apologist, especially one who can teach us all about foreign policy and stuff like that.

Wasn’t she the mouthpiece for a bunch of fellows - George W. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld? And they knew exactly what foreign policy is all about, didn‘t they.

Right, let’s have Condoleezza tell us about what America should do abroad, considering what a great job she and her puppeteers did not too long ago. How could we forget? America is still down on its knees, reeling from their tenure.

And talking about telling the Mitt Romney story, strange, but have you seen his  best friends around at all at the Convention?

George W? Or Cheney? Or Rumsfeld?

I wonder why they’ve been tied up and gagged and are being kept safe and hidden in a basement somewhere.

Wonderful, isn’t it, this democratic process, a la the Republican Party!

           
 

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