Columnists
Postcards From The Edge:
Part I
T. SHER SINGH
DAILY FIX
Friday, June 8, 2012
“Thinking of you, Harbinder …”
Entering public life is like walking over to the edge of the abyss and looking into it.
As long as one stays in the public eye, one remains precariously at the edge.
From that first time one arrives there, it is a constant balancing act. The winds that threaten to tip you over are both from within and without.
From within, it is the ego that buffets you and always remains the biggest foe. There’s also the heady intoxication of power, and the allure of opportunity, the blindness to one’s own limitations and the magnification of one’s own sense of duty, the easy comfort of compromise …
From without, oh, there are so many! The storms come from every direction, each without a warning, without a moment’s notice.
It's tough enough dealing with one's own flaws and failings. But how does one deal with the never-ending hurricane season that squalls even the most sincere and dedicated and selfless of lives.
Add to the mix the inevitable self-interest, and what you have is ... a perennially powder-dry tinder-box.
There's a reason why very few good people choose public life, and why it is mostly peopled by those who shouldn't be - shouldn't even be allowed to be - touching it even with a barge-pole.
Worse still. there’s no school that prepares you for it.
So, when I first stumbled - actually, pushed - into public life, I knew not what I was in for.
But I was fortunate.
My lessons, the few I was blessed with, began early and came handy later in life.
The first came when I was a little over 16 years old. I had already been thrust in a very public role, but this particular situation had nothing to do with it.
Out of the blue, I was hit with a problem not of my making, but which went to the very core of my sense of self. It shook me up and derailed me from the track I had so carefully chosen for my life.
My father found me sitting alone one day, and noted with alarm my near catatonic state. Though I had no expression on my face, he could see my despair and felt my helplessness.
He sat down next to me and began talking to me softly, gently, slowly …
I remember it all because what he said then became my well-spring of strength each time thereafter I stared into the abyss.
“You won’t fully understand what I have to say to you today,” he said, but if you store it away, it’ll gather meaning as you go along in life … You are specially blessed. The problem you have encountered can be and probably will be a life-transforming one. And you are blessed that a challenge of this magnitude has come to you this early in life. I don’t know anyone who has had to face such things so early. I know you feel devastated. But I think it is your good fortune.
“All you have to do is survive this one, overcome it, and put it behind you. And I know you will. How do I know you will? Because you’re taking it with the seriousness it deserves!
“So, once you do get past it, you’ll forever thereafter know that such hurdles - nay, mountains - do come your way … that they come, and that they go. Once you survive this big one - and I can’t see too many bigger ones one can get in life - you’ll always know you are bigger than them.
“Never again will anything shake you up to the core. You will have acquired, unlike most people in the world who aren’t as blessed and fortunate, tools and skills which will solve any problem, anywhere!
“B-U-T, F-I-R-S-T, you have to get past this one!
“So, this terrible thing that you have to deal with, it’s up to you, treat it as a curse and sink under it, or tackle it headlong by accepting it as a gift!
“And then, forever thereafter, every time you slay a dragon, you’ll only become stronger and ready for an even bigger monster!”
It took me a while before it sank in, and years more before I garnered the full meaning of what my father had said. But I do know that it changed me … his interpretation, not the problem itself … for ever.
I do not have too many qualities that I can be proud of, but if there is one, it is that I turn calm and collected the moment I am confronted by a larger-than-life challenge.
[It's the little things, however, that still trip me: the wayward cuticle on a finger; the sudden blank screen on my lap-top; the $30 parking ticket; the pre-recorded attendant on the phone asking you to wait and the inane muzak that follows ...!]
That automatic willingness to embrace challenges as opporutnities, I attribute to my father.
And, joy of joys for the father in me, I see it has filtered right through me to my daughter. She has the same ability, only hers is twice as sharp, twice as effective.
And, surprise of surprises, she now pursues a career in crisis management!
Tomorrow … POSTACARD # 2
Conversation about this article
1: Artika Bakshi (Sri Lanka), June 08, 2012, 5:46 AM.
Very nice!
2: Rosalia (Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.), June 08, 2012, 6:59 AM.
Your father sounds so wise. It's unfortunate that everyone's father isn't as forward thinking. The world would be a much better place. His legacy is your daughter's calmness and ability to work through and overcome problems on that macro level that would be considered crisis affecting many.