Current Events
When Grown Men Profane Themselves
by PRABHSHARAN KAUR SIDHU
I am one of the apathetic Sikh youth people talk about so much.
I am the reason the Sikh community should fear the loss of hundreds of years of tradition.
My parents tried as much as they could to teach me the lore of our Gurus. I learned names and incidences. I learned that God is One and I can recite the mool mantar by heart. I learned that the gurdwara is the house of the Guru; a place built for the worship of God and a sanctuary for peace. It is where you go for comfort, for some sort of cosmic reassurance in this uncertain life.
Today, I packed up my granny and went to the Ceres gurdwara after a stressful week of finals. I wanted to thank the Guru for getting me through organic chemistry. I listened as the ragis sang, "We have One Father ... Some people call Him Ram, some people say Khuddah," and I felt a certain sense of peace.
I suffered a clean-shaven committee member's interruption of service, hoping the kirtan would start again. I knew from previous Sunday services that he would be long-winded and cared little about the audience. His oily tongue dripped half Punjabi, half English sentences. He was using words like ‘escrow,' ‘law,' and all of a sudden there was an uproar.
Men were raising fists and standing up. The gurdwara had become surprisingly empty, and a crowd of men had moved to the altar and were pummeling each other.
I was terrified. I called 911 and reported a domestic disturbance. I didn't know what would happen, but I requested that an officer be sent down.
I wanted someone to stop what was going on.
I looked to the granthis, they were too startled to do anything about the grown men profaning themselves before the Guru‘s altar.
I really don't know what happened afterward. I just felt the burning insult of this violence and I couldn't breathe. I felt every moment of broken peace as a slap to my face. I felt shame and I felt fear.
I could hardly speak to the sheriff when he arrived. The sight of him settled the people down, and I was happy for it. He tried to be respectful and understanding. He knew the argument was about the committee; I was not the only one who had called about the incident.
Some 'aunties' clucked at me for admitting I was the one who had called 911. There is a general fear of stigmatizing the community. It's too late for that, the community has already been stigmatized by today's lack of maturity, respect and decency.
I honestly don't want to go back to the gurdwara with those people and I can't imagine anyone else does.
You see, I am a Sikh. I don't wear the 5 Ks, I can't even read Gurmukhi. But I do know I love the Guru and I know the Guru loves me.
I am the reason you should be afraid that Sikhism is at the crossroads. I am the reason you, we, all of us, need to get our act together.
You, the ‘Sikhs' who squabble over petty issues, ‘Sikhs' who wish to sweep it all under the rug, you are the ones who have brought shame to our community today.
May 2, 2011
Conversation about this article
1: Jaspreet Singh (U.S.A.), May 02, 2011, 11:10 AM.
I am sorry that you had to witness this in person and take the courageous step to call the authorities. I have witnessed such brawls first hand as a kid and have a negative impression of the gurdwara committees. Please know that there are many of us in the younger and older generations that do not find this behavior acceptable. When I visit a gurdwara, I do seva, eat langar and leave without getting involved. It's the only way I can stay calm when such events erupt. Nothing is worth your peace of mind.
2: I.J. Singh (New York, U.S.A.), May 02, 2011, 11:42 AM.
If people could only understand how right you are. Thank you.
3: Gurmeet Kaur (Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A.), May 02, 2011, 12:27 PM.
Prabhsharan, point noted. But the people you are making your point to will not read your article, sadly. They do not read, period. If you want your voice heard, you have to get involved and not stop going to the gurdwara. There are many reasonable people who share your pain - you are not alone. Form a coalition, launch a petition, summon the leadership, instruct them to behave. Make yourself heard in a way they will have to listen.
4: Manpreet Singh (New Delhi, India), May 02, 2011, 12:45 PM.
I think if you love your Guru, nothing else matters. Leave the other people fighting over stupid issues. Just read about your history and all the incidents that took place in the past. Religion is not about making groups of your community. It is a lot more than that. It's about your inner beliefs and faith in God. You prove yourself a Sikh by your faith and beliefs.
5: Aman (California, U.S.A.), May 02, 2011, 2:01 PM.
I too vividly remember witnessing a brawl at a Toronto Gurdwara as a teenager. I remember pulling off "humble sevadars" from each other as their turbans covered the floors of the main divan hall. As Punjabi curses spewed from the mouths of these men, I could hear myself questioning my belief in "this" faith. How can this be? How can these men be Sikhs? I was, and am still, dumbfounded.
6: Darshen (Malaysia), May 02, 2011, 9:04 PM.
We generally conclude a gurdwara to be a place where peace and serenity will exist. We feel there is some magical transformation that happens in a gurdwara just because Guru Granth Sahib is there and people do kirtan and paatth there. I personally do not prescribe to this thinking. The peace and serenity is derived from sat sangat that is in loving relationship with the Guru. The mere presence of the Guru Granth in itself does very little if sangat does not embrace its teachings and change their behaviour to align to gurmat values. My humble suggestion is seek a sangat that is in love with the Guru Granth and if one truly desires this love the Guru will bestow this sat sangat. Ask the Guru to guide others who are lost as they too are God's wonderful creation. They are merely misplaced at this moment and with His blessing, the Guru will guide them through all of the role-modeling gurmat values and become a catalyst of change for the people whose lives they touch.
7: Raj (Canada), May 03, 2011, 12:40 PM.
I have seen brawls in gurdwaras. I just stop going to the ones that have them. Having said that, I think it's almost futile to look for peace at any religious site. If you can't find peace within yourself, gurdwaras are not going to help. Remember, gurbani is the light, not the gurdwara. Read, understand and live it; that's about it. Again, I suggest no one should offer money to any gurdwara without knowing for what it is being used, and ensuring it is. Money is the source of all evil ...
8: Gurdev Singh Bir (Columbus, Ohio, U.S.A.), May 04, 2011, 10:03 AM.
These so called "grown" men, who knowingly show disrespect to the Guru Granth, are very "empty" to our Guru's message. All the responses so far are very well said. Gurdwara fights stem from wanting to control the institution and these individuals have no idea the harm they do to the younger generations that witness this behavior, as Gurmeet ji said: "they do not read, period." The Web is a vast treasure-trove of Sikhi teachings and you will be better served in your free time to gain this knowledge. It is hard to say don't go to the gurdwara, since our Guru desires us to be with sangat. Seek the 'true' sangat that wants to share the Guru's message and not the one filling you with rumor-mongering of gurdwara politics and personalities.